Your everyday life stories

Pop off

Anonymous - 24/04/2025 20:00 - Germany - Tostedt

Today, I couldn’t wait to get home and get my boyfriend naked, which I did. Although, to be honest, popping every single pimple in the rash on his back was not the kind of foreplay I had had in mind. FML

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All alone

Anonymous - 04/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I have no friends because I have severe anxiety and severe social anxiety. I thought I had family but as it turns out, my family is trying to get rid of me by sending me away. FML

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Unreliable

ForeverAlone - 16/09/2025 22:00

Today, my boyfriend begged me to spend an extra night at his house. I agreed, cancelled my Uber, and arranged for my pets to be cared for, since I wasn't coming home. Five minutes later, he decided that he had to work tonight instead. Then he got angry at me for leaving. FML

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Heavy metal

Anonymous - 25/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was out having a nice dinner to celebrate being hired for a job I was really excited for after two places didn't work out in a year. In the middle of dinner, I got an email from the director informing me that the school has to close due to lead levels in the building. FML

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On my butt

Anonymous - 05/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Warren

Today I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML

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Late entry for worst Valentine's Day 2025

Anonymous - 16/02/2025 04:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, it's Valentine's Day. I wanted to set the mood by decorating. I guess the projectile vomit I've been spewing all morning will have to do. FML

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To be fair and balanced…

Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

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Why weren't we invited?

beccaboo_96 - 18/02/2025 02:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, and since Valentine's Day when we got married at the courthouse, which was supposed to be a secret but my husband and I ended up on the news, we've been getting several calls from family. FML

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Good luck with that

- 12/12/2025 20:00

Today, I got an email from a company that fired me over two weeks ago. It turns out they forgot to download all my work before deleting my account, and they want me to get it back off the cloud. FML

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What is wrong with me?

Anonymous - 04/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

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Great party

Anonymous - 05/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML

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Welcome!

Vicky - 27/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML

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Look at me

- 20/09/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that my gay male friend tells me I’m pretty, gives me random compliments, and shows me off more often than my husband of 10 years. I legitimately can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful. Even if I ask him how I look, the best I’ll get is “You look fine.” FML

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Weird vibes

Anonymous - 25/04/2025 22:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

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Keep on trucking

Katie Rose - 17/11/2025 09:00

Today, for the second time this week, a jerk in a big truck let a big rock fly out of their uncovered back and damaged my windshield. Both times the cops refused to do anything and I can't afford to fix it as I was demoted at work. FML

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Is this what the kids are doing these days?

Diddy Mom - 23/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old son’s idea of a “Diddy Party” was him and his friends getting a bunch of baby oil, spilling it on the floor while they rolled on the floor shirtless like a bunch of oiled penguins. FML

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The body keeps the score

Anonymous - 19/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, the girl I used to be in love with texted me again after 5 months. She wanted to say that she remembers my birthday, which is next month. I hate that my heart still speeds up at the mention of her name, and I know it won't ever stop. She was my first crush since I came out, and my first heartbreak. I hate it. FML

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Thow it!

Ethan - 09/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was having a conversation with a friend at the park when my dog ran up to me with something in his mouth. I thought it was a stick. I bent down to take it, only to realize it was a dead squirrel. My dog just stared at me, tongue lolling, like, “It’s a stick, throw it.” FML

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Messy

Anonymous - 11/06/2025 00:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

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Just trying to help

Dave - 28/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.

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Tipping point

Tipped off - 06/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Benson

Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML

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What does she have that I don't?

cellie - 18/10/2025 15:00

Today, my ex is doing with his new girl all the things I begged him to do during our relationship. She gets Just Because flowers (he only got me flowers once and complained how expensive they were), trips (he told me he hated traveling), and apparently an engagement ring (he said he didn’t believe in marriage). FML

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FIRE!

Kav - 13/01/2026 12:00

Today, the fire alarm went off at my apartment. I rushed out but forgot to grab a coat, so I hopped in my car and fired it up, figuring I'd wait it out. A fireman knocked on my window and loudly asked me to get out, then wrote me a citation for "improper fire alarm protocols." That's a thing? FML

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Oh well…

Bobert - 27/04/2025 04:00 - Romania

Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML

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Small town

Anonymous - 16/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a date to a new restaurant I’d never been to before. Wish I had been because it turns out two of my ex-girlfriends work there as waitresses. Luckily they were amicable break-ups, but it was still hella awkward every time they brought stuff to the table. FML

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True believer

No Prayer for Fools - 24/04/2025 09:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML

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What did you expect?

Not Marge - 22/11/2025 09:00

Today, my husband is hurt and upset that our daughter legally changed her name the day she turned 18. I had to ask him, as nicely as I could, what the hell he expected when he named her Lisa and her last name is Simpson. FML

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Memories…

Anonymous - 14/01/2026 15:00

Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML

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Probably

Brittany - 12/01/2026 22:00

Today, I caught my husband making out with our nanny. I had hired her in the first place because I didn’t see her as a threat. She’s 19 year-old chubby girl with glasses. Is he out of his goddamn mind? FML

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Health nut

Anonymous - 02/03/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend has always been a health nut, but he's really started going off the deep end lately. He's gone from just disliking fast food to a lunatic yelling about organ meat (YUCK), seed oils, and microplastics, as well as other things I don't understand. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

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Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

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Today, we inherited a house from my grandma in a homeowners association. My husband told the HOA president he's looking forward to defying the rules and annoying the rich snobs on this street who made grandma miserable by complaining about the state of her house while she was dying. FUCK THEM. FML

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Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

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Today, I noticed that the glasses I got this week seemed off balance. A further inspection showed that one of my ears is bigger than the other. Through even further inspection, my family concluded that the entire right side of my body is higher than my left. FML

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Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

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