The Top

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The long arm of the law

By MattVh - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Belgium

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 178

You deserved it 2 508

Panic!

By notanightowlanymore - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 452

You deserved it 2 146

Magic!

By Floppy arm - 08/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my nephew asked if I wanted to see a magic trick. I humored him and let him give it a go. He covered my phone with a blanket, counted to three, and revealed that it had "disappeared." The little genius had dropped it into a fish tank while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 67

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 47

Confused

By Anonymous - 09/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my train was delayed, so I sprinted across the station to catch another one. I made it onto the train just before the doors closed. Then I looked around and realized I had boarded the exact same train I had just gotten off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 188

Formatting issues

By Anonymous - 08/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my university professor asked us to submit anonymous course feedback. I wrote three paragraphs criticizing his lectures. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my full name at the bottom of the page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 323

All fixed up

By Anonymous - 09/06/2026 06:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 9

Shallow

By John - 09/06/2026 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my now-ex girlfriend showed me a picture where she was 120lbs overweight and asked me if I would still date her if she ever looked like that again. Being honest, I said “No.” She broke it off with me because of that. Apparently I lack “good moral character” and “it’s giving red flag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 9

Military time is best

By Late lateeee - 09/06/2026 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 94

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Kids Gross Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Death Mother in law My ex I need your advice Money AITA Love Break-ups Embarrassing Food Family Teachers School Health Relatable Clumsy Healthy Lifestyle Animals Cats Neighbours Cute Transportation Confused Music Concert Annoying

The Top

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 503

You deserved it 3 242

Today, I went to the airport with my mom, who requested a wheelchair for me, since I have a broken leg. I'm 24. Embarrassed, I insisted I push myself around, instead of an airline assistant doing it. A few seconds later, I crash into the same airline assistant, who then falls back into my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 832

Today, it's my birthday and I'd arranged a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 210

You deserved it 6 948

Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 554

You deserved it 15 504

Today, I was at work when I got a call to say my grandad died. When I was walking out to my car, I realised someone had stolen all my hubcaps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 805

You deserved it 113

Today, marks my one hundredth pound loss. To celebrate, I put on my first backless dress I bought for this occasion. The dress fit great. Unfortunately, today also marks the realization that instead of inheriting my father's beautiful hazel eyes, the universe blessed me with his hard to get rid of back rolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 146