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Oh dear

By Francoise3 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch, but it said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Françoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I'm Françoise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 409

You deserved it 19 577

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 159

You deserved it 26 110

Desperate times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered, "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 067

You deserved it 3 115

Ouchies

By bucktooth - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 709

You deserved it 2 709

Confused

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Niles

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 189

You deserved it 1 742

Thanks…

By Emily - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 579

You deserved it 17 063

Harsh but fair

By Shianna - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Holden

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 260

You deserved it 13 803

Read the room

By IsThisRealLife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 131

You deserved it 6 028

Are we nearly there?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 130

You deserved it 1 604

Wild mood swings

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 000

You deserved it 28 013

Too late

By John W. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "Douche bag!" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 726

You deserved it 47 395

Use your head

By Jocelyn - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 723

You deserved it 31 071

Shame

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so disgusted by my own body, I took a shower in the dark so I wouldn't have to look at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 676

Bye bye baby

By OhCanada - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my downstairs neighbor is single, clever and incredibly hot, while the upstairs neighbor is loud and obnoxious, not to mention a creep. I silently prayed every day for my neighbor to leave the building, and today, my prayer was answered: my neighbor moved out. Guess which one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 369

Bit of a sore loser

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I’m divorcing my husband. Not because he plays video games, but because he lost a round and wrecked the living room for the second time in six months. He broke the TV, slammed his PS5 into the ground, and threw his $400 gaming chair through the sliding glass door into the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 55

My brother, the asshole

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 89

The simp life

By no more mister nice guy - 21/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I paid for the girl I love to come to a music festival with me. Fifteen minutes after we got there, she was hanging off the arm of some muscly rich douche who barely glanced at me, except to call me "little simpy dude." She giggled as he whisked her off to the VIP area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 203

Bad start to the marriage

By Confusd - 21/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my hopefully soon-to-be ex husband refuses to get an annulment. His female best friend, who’s been in the picture for years, rage quit our wedding and she blocked him on everything. He’s fallen into a depressed state. When we consummated our marriage he was a like zombie. He still claims he “loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 110

Man's best friend

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, I have a dog I got to help motivate me to keep active and prevent the worsening of my chronic pain and limited mobility. My dog just got diagnosed with chronic pain and limited mobility. Misery likes company, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 57

The Wrong Decision

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason my ex-husband suddenly became so horrible and abusive was because he had a brain tumor that altered his personality. Now that he's had it removed, he's back to his old self. I feel like I'm living in a real-life Lifetime movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 68

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 00:00 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 69

It's the new sensation sweeping the nation

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to see five teens, my kitchen counters covered in an assortment of greens and berries, and a camera. They were filming themselves stuffing their faces for what they called the “leaky butt challenge”, trying to see if any of them caught the bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 88

Diversity hire

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on my second shift at my job, I was fired for “ruining the communication of coworkers” AKA I don’t speak Spanish. This was known before I was hired and I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 67

No dice

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Calera

Today, I interviewed with a company 5 times over the course of 7 weeks. It was going really well and although not my dream job, it would provide a step up for my family. I got the offer letter at 1 PM! As I’m reading it, I realize it’s actually addressed to the other finalist. Sent to me, not for me. Offer rescinded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 42

Time comes for everyone

By So old - 22/07/2026 03:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my favorite band from my teenage years was played on an oldies station on the car radio. To make matters worse, my sixteen year-old niece who was in the car, had never heard of them. I’m only 31, but damn, I feel old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 122

Obsessed

By Not bear - 20/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 80

Meritocracy ain't shit

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Henrico

Today, I was a manager of a store for 12 years and I'd had an agreement with the owner that I was to be signed over as full manager until I could buy the store… and then he goes to sell it to a kid I'd fired. I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 58

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 62

Free Parking!

By Parked - 19/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I took the last parking spot in a crowded lot, got out feeling victorious, then immediately stepped in a puddle deep enough to soak my foot all the way through to my sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 104

A whole mess

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I parked at the airport and rushed inside. TSA pulled me into a back room for screening, including a rectal exam, then let me go, but I missed my flight. Back at my car, there was a note on the windshield: “I know what you did, John. Lock your doors next time.” (My name isn't John) and I found a pile of shit on my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 63

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The Top

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 083

You deserved it 1 485

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 047

You deserved it 11 615

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 983

You deserved it 3 146

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 446

You deserved it 4 054

Today, I cooked for the future in-laws and was accused of trying to poison them. Absolutely no one told me, even as they watched me cook shrimp and smoked sausage gumbo, that my mother-in-law is deathly allergic to shellfish and my father-in-law gets severe diarrhoea when he eats pork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 131

Today, I moved cities to live with the man whose baby I gave birth to two weeks ago. I found a bra that doesn’t belong to me in the dirty laundry hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 183