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    : 320



    Rivalry

    Anonymous - 23/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my two idiot boys beat the hell out of each other over a girl they both like. The poor girl isn’t even remotely interested in them, she’s had the same boyfriend for 6 years, and is marrying him next year. What idiots I raised, one has a broken finger and the other is missing teeth. FML
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    Roadblocked

    Anonymous - 28/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML
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    Mixed signals

    Anonymous - 11/07/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Creil

    Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
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    Prank off

    I may also need a Tetanus shot - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
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    I'm always right

    Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

    Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
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    Not helping

    Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

    Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML
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    Troublemakers

    Heyho bilbo - 25/06/2025 13:00 - United States - Riverside

    Today, I worked all year hand making a costume, just to get kicked out of the Renaissance Faire in an hour. The people next to me got so drunk, they started puking, and just the sight of it makes me puke too. Security wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them I hadn’t had a single drink. FML
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    Stinky

    Anonymous - 20/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

    Today, after wearing high heels all day, I took them off in the car, and sat cross-legged. My husband immediately threw a fit beside me, claiming my feet were disgusting and "smelled bad." He pulled into a parking lot and threatened to leave me there unless I put them back on. FML
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    Don't shoot the messenger

    Anonymous - 18/06/2025 08:00 - Australia

    Today, I took my best friend to see her dad in hospital. While they were talking in another room about his care, he took his last lucid words before his death. I was the only one there and I'd never even met him before. FML
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    Message in a virtual bottle

    Anonymous - 26/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Fayetteville

    Today, I was feeling extremely depressed and worthless, so I decided to use the crisis chat. I told them I felt lonely and worthless, and had nobody to talk to. They never responded. FML
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    Comma etiquette

    Anonymous - 05/08/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I was accused of using AI to write something, all because I used the Oxford Comma ; I use it all the time, and always will. The internet has become such a total shitshow. FML
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    Parenting is sharing

    Stephanie - 12/03/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML
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    You played yourself

    Anonymous - 17/09/2025 00:00

    Today, my idiot daughter is sat next to me crying because she took her ex to court for child support, convinced she was gonna get paid, even though her kids live with their dad full time. Now she's paying HIM child support and can’t afford her flat anymore, so she wants to move in with me. FML
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    Small world after all

    Anonymous - 15/09/2025 20:00

    Today, I am now living a nightmare. The house on my left side was just bought by my cheating ex from years ago who I never wanted to see again, and the house on my right side has just had an offer put on it by my boss, whom I despise for being a lazy, entitled rich mama's boy. FML
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    Valid argument

    Anonymous - 27/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my fiancé actually tried to skip my mum’s birthday by claiming the cat was asleep on him, and he didn’t want to move, then he yelled at me when I moved the cat for him. Guess he forgot it’s a surprise party and we’re the ones supposed to be driving my mum there. FML
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    Reverse Uno card

    Anonymous - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML
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    Stir crazy

    Anonymous - 03/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Anaheim

    Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML
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    The truth is out there

    Anonymous - 14/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
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    The sensual sounds of Derek Bailey

    Anonymous - 22/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML
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    Tough luck

    - 23/10/2025 12:00

    Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML
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    Thanks, I hate it!

    LinkyMan - 14/03/2025 14:00 - United States

    Today, I found out my long distance girlfriend gave me chlamydia, after I spent $1k to fly her out for a week. I paid for an STD delivery. FML
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    Isn't she lovely?

    Anonymous - 14/12/2025 12:00

    Today, my wife shouted at me for never doing anything for her, which is a brave claim to make while her unemployed ass sits in the house I pay for, enjoying the Netflix I pay for, and the car I pay for so she can drive to Starbucks and use my money to buy £8 coffees for six friends at once. FML
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    Am I the only one?

    Anonymous - 22/02/2025 22:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

    Today, all my coworkers are incompetent and I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I've tried to help them to make fewer mistakes. They don't care. I've tried talking to their supervisors. They don't care either. I've been escalating matters step by step. I finally talked to the CEO about it. He doesn't care either. FML
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    Overreaction?

    - 20/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML
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    Pet peeve

    MY CHIPS - 14/04/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML
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    New addition

    Anonymous - 03/08/2025 18:00 - United States - Yuba City

    Today, it's my 35th birthday. I’m a single father of 3 (14, 13, 12). I’m also a disabled combat veteran and have been alone for a while now. I just got news this morning that the mother of my children (who hasn’t been present in their lives at all for over 10 years and is a meth addict) is pregnant. FML
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    How can I make everything about me?

    Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
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    Misophonia

    Phyllis - 30/01/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, it's almost a week since our intern started. We have an open plan office, so I can't help but hear her talk excitedly. This wouldn't be a bad thing if she didn't stop saying "it's giving…" and "like" every ten words. Our company doesn't allow headphones, so I'm stuck in hell, which, like, is giving, like, you know, pain. FML
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    Watch out!

    Why am I still in this relationship? - 14/02/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, we had an ice storm. My fiancée went out to look at the damage and yelled at me when I warned her to be safe. As she was walking around, she almost got nailed by a falling branch. Now she's mad at me. I don't know why either. FML
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    That one special feeling

    Chris - 23/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Newark

    Today, I went to a job interview, and halfway through my perfectly rehearsed answers, my stomach started growling loudly. I tried to keep calm, but then it let out the most embarrassing noise I’ve ever heard. The interviewer paused what he was saying, then said, "Are you hungry or do you need to fart?" FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
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    Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
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    Today, my car was totaled. It was so new, I haven't even made the first payment on it yet. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
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    Today, my school announced plans to do a Memorial Day event near the end of the year, where students can invite people they know who are war veterans. Everyone wants me to invite my uncle, since he's pretty well-known around here. I don't have the heart to tell them he has terminal cancer. FML
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