The Top

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Membershipmaxxing

By Gym girl - 01/06/2026 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, my ex and I both go to the same gym because we're too stubborn to change our membership. He's not being a creeper, but he's dropped over fifty pounds and all the girls there keep talking about how hot he's gotten. It's really awkward when we're in a class together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 285

Tipping culture wars

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, during a first date, we discovered we had complete opposite views on tipping. Neither of us wanted to back down, so we spent an hour debating economics instead of getting to know each other. At the end, the server thanked us for the entertainment and asked if we'd be coming back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 395

Horny camp

By Cathie - 05/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 117

Let the man have his hobbies

By hildi - 07/06/2026 09:00 - Switzerland

Today, my husband is such a cheap-ass that he spent two days underneath his old beater car with an angle grinder and a welding rig, grinding off some old rusty supports, and welding on new ones. He makes enough money to throw that thing in the scrapyard and buy a brand new car. I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 512

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 88

Check where you sit

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 20:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 270

Here in my car

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just a week after replacing my car's head gasket in a 7-hour job, my car's timing desynced. Fixing it could take 6 hours. Maybe I should just walk everywhere from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 72

Bowler

By Gutter - 14/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 357

I can't get behind that

By Anonymous - 20/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my whole family turned on me because I absolutely refused to attend my son's wedding, even though he really wanted me to walk him down the aisle. He married the woman he cheated on his ex-wife with, and abandoned their kids. That's why I refused to attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 84

Dementia?

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my dad called me a pussy and said I wasn't a real man, simply because I hugged and kissed my son and told him that I loved him. It gets even better though. My dad was openly affectionate and loving to me when I was a kid, then somewhere along the line, he became this horrible person. Can't go no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 71

Impressive

By brainrot 2026 - 25/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress coworkers by saying I “don’t really watch TV” because I mostly read books. Unfortunately, someone immediately asked what I’d been reading lately, and the only honest answer was celebrity memoirs and conspiracy theory forum posts online at 2 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 533

Opt out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on our first wedding anniversary, my husband confessed that he had tried to leave me at the altar and only went through with it due to my dad, brothers, whiskey, and drowsy cold medicine, but now tat he’s given it the old college try and lasted a whole year, he wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 65

My special helper

By Ceara - 03/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my mom found my Rose Toy in the washer while doing my laundry. My parents are no longer paying for college and she “hopes I’m planning on seeking some employment” because I have 30 days to move out. When I told her I can’t live on my own on minimum wage, she replied, “You should have thought about that then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 106

Sorry for your loss

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother died unexpectedly of a heart attack. To make matters worse, every time he thinks I’m not watching him, my husband has a Cheshire Cat grin on his face, and a few times I’ve even seen him dancing in happiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 85

BEEP BEEP BEEP

By Anonymous - 14/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I bought noise-canceling headphones because my neighbors are loud. The first night I wore them, I completely missed the sound of my smoke alarm battery dying. Instead of hearing a faint beep every minute, I woke up to six missed calls from my roommate asking why I wasn't answering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 103

You can't hide forever

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 179

Good fences make good neighbors?

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbour replaced his chain link fence with a nice wood fence. It’s exactly on the property line and it's his fence, not mine, but the property line is only two feet away from my kitchen window, which is now in complete darkness, no light at all, so I need lights on even during the day FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 107

Kinda gross

By Gross - 18/05/2026 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dentist asked me if I floss regularly. Wanting to avoid judgment, I lied and said yes. He nodded, started cleaning my teeth, then pulled out an entire popcorn kernel that had apparently been living in my gums long enough to pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 440

Thrown for a loop

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a cashier at a store was so gorgeous that when she asked if I needed a bag, I grabbed everything and simply said, "Thanks, you too." I dropped something on the way out of the store and I haven't gone back. I've seen her a few times around town and she giggles at me when I pass by. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 323

Whiner

By The life of the party has left the building - 24/05/2026 03:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, some whiny new employee had management get me sanctioned, and disposed of my anatomy skeleton. I brought him for Halloween, and he's been literally hanging there since 2023. We, including the even-higher-ups, thought it would be funny to dress him every month, such as Cupid in February or Santa in December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 95

What goes around…

By Ironyman - 25/05/2026 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took the piss out of my younger brother for spending money on “fake internet clothes” in video games. Last week I spent 3 hours researching the perfect ergonomic office chair and paid extra for “limited edition fabric.” I'm apparently one financial decision away from becoming the exact nerd I used to bully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 470

Foul language

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my whole family ganged up on me because I called my 9-year-old niece a cunt. The little brat purposely ruined my son's final science project for school and caused him to get a zero, even though we wrote a note to the teacher explaining what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 115

Imposter syndrome

By Useless - 05/06/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I worked hard and brought few points to an important meeting at work. All of them were dismissed almost immediately. Now I feel an impostor fraud who gets paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 80

See you next week

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to the dentist. Normally I walk out with no work to be done as he says my teeth are always great. I thought it was weird this time that he was scraping and pushing at my tooth when he usually doesn't. I'd walked in with a full set of teeth, walked out with a dentist-caused chipped tooth and a filling booked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 42

Military time is best

By Late lateeee - 09/06/2026 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 387

The work wife

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 124

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 03:00 - Canada - North York

Today, my first time having sex was in the back of her car in my university parking garage. We went for hours with people walking all around us not noticing, because we fogged up the car after a while. While I got out, I noticed my best friend with the biggest grin taking a picture of me getting out of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 378

Behave

By Anonymous - 26/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I had no choice but to move in with my grandmother who is extremely strict and old fashioned. She is demanding that I quit my construction job because according to her, women are supposed to be dainty and petite and poised and beautiful, not construction workers. If I don't, she'll kick me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 62

Chemical balls

By Mac (29m) - 27/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I'm aging, so it’s clear my ball skin has got more rough, and I can't even shave anymore without bad razor burn. Well, I tried Nair for the first time. My balls are now severely chemically burned and blistered. It was just 4 minutes of Nair! I was finally getting my sex drive back after a divorce, so I was trying to be ready just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 197

Take this seriously!

By well fuck u then! jst fail - 29/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, to help my fellow trainees, I made a very long post in the training Teams chat detailing every detail that tripped me up recently. One responded, "Sir this is a Wendy's" and they all bust up laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 308

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The Top

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 392

You deserved it 7 210

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312

You deserved it 2 379

Today, I was passing a kidney stone. I had to go to the ER but had no one to take me, so I drove myself. They made me wait 3 hours because it was suspicious that someone in "so much pain" could drive. It was the largest stone that doctor had seen in his career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 659

You deserved it 248

He disappeared like this weekend!

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 72

Today, I sent my fuckbuddy a sexy message about what I wanted to do in bed with him next time we meet. He responded with, "oki doki". FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 508

Today, I tested positive for Influenza A. I’m either sweating bullets or shivering cold, coughing my ass off, sneezing constantly, snotting out my eyeballs, and aching all over. To top it off it’s hot and stormy, flooding in part of town with 100% humidity, and the power just cut out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 83