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Nice guy

By HateCelebz - 27/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 52

Empty seat

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 20:00

Today, I booked a flight to see my girlfriend. At least I thought she was coming, the flight isn't cancellable because I was broke and could only afford the minimum ticket. I just wanted to make her happy. Well, it's now four days before the flight and I haven't heard from her for a week. I've been left on 'delivered', thinking at 4 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 107

Risky drink

By TJ - 08/02/2026 12:00

Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 328

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was the seventh anniversary of my grandfather's passing. It was also my cousin's funeral (suicide). Brad Arnold's death was also announced. At the end of an exhausting day, I got dumped. Fuck February 8th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 64

It's true! It happened!

By Next show, please! - 15/02/2026 15:00

Today, after over a year of waiting, the horror podcast I listen to and have been a fan of since pandemic times, who invites listeners to send in their true stories, finally responded to the story submission I sent, which was about a real life experience of mine. Their response was, "Yeah, cool story bro!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 131

Touch crowd

By Ouch - 17/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 174

Strongjaw wobbled

By Anonymous - 19/02/2026 03:00

Today, my brother woke up from a 14 month coma and apparently the first thing he said was, “Where'd my muscles go?” Now, while I get the situation was serious, I couldn’t help but picture Grog from Vox Machina saying almost exactly the same thing, and I laughed. Mom slapped the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 150

Secret life

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 22:00

Today, I found out my ex has been using AI to fake a whole relationship with me. He’s been sending pics to his family abroad about our supposed lives together, including a wedding, vacations, and even children. I only found out after one of his cousins messaged me wanting to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 59

Slow down

By any future girls must take an IQ test - 22/02/2026 20:00

Today, my brain-dead now-ex-fiancee "read on the internet" that cops can't give you a ticket at home, so when a cop tried to pull her for speeding on the way home from work, she sped up and rushed home. What would have been a $200 fine is now serious charges and jail time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 76

Three days?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 15:00

Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 104

The accidental voyeur

By Anonymous - 01/03/2026 22:00

Today, I stayed late at work. While I was getting coffee from the pantry, one of the cleaners came into the break room with her boyfriend, who then proposed marriage. I was reluctant to interfere so I kept quiet, until I clearly heard them start having sex, all while I was trapped clutching my coffee jar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 46

I need my own place

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 11:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 112

Social cues

By anonymous dude - 07/03/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was saying goodbye to a friend after a long day out. I went for a hug, and as I pulled away, I kissed her on the cheek for some reason. Realising it was an awkward mistake, I pulled back even more and said, "Sorry, I thought you were my mum." She looked at me confused, and we both stood there in complete silence for what felt like hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 433

Rookie mistake

By George P - 12/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 655

Chilled

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 338

Loyalty

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 17:00 - United States - Kenner

Today, after I finally got up the courage to talk to the girl I'd been crushing on for years, we've got super close over a few weeks. Her best friend, who I'm kinda friends with, texted me, confessing that she likes me. Now the first girl won't talk to me for the sake of her best friend, who I'm not interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 88

Cheeky bastard

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 11:00 - United States - Corona

Today, working as a massage therapist at a spa, I had a male client proposition me for “special services.” I declined and ended the session. He got angry and told the front desk that I offered him favors. Now I’m suspended while management investigates, when really it’s just his word against mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 80

The coast is clear

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to a really hot chick I’ve known for years's house, because she said her soon to be ex-husband had gone on a business trip for work. While I was sitting in the house with a ton of cologne on and a fresh shave, the husband walked in, looked at me, and said, "What’s up?" Guess I'm not getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 607

Right place…

By Not Her, sorry - 03/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 146

Amazing idea, idiot

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 91

Seriously?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 02:00

Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 116

Sounds about right

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 382

Someone needs a good talking to

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 141

Boom!

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband is such a tight-wadded cheapskate that his idea of “taking the family out” is going to Costco to try all the samples. PS: Yes, I work too, so he’s not the only “provider", he’s just cheap and boring as all hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 148

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 23:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 107

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 206

EVERYTHING COMPUTER

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I spent several minutes trying to log into my email, only to realize I was typing my work password instead of my personal one. After three failed attempts, my account locked me out for 24 hours. Now I can’t check my emails or reset the password because they need me to check my email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 348

Sociopaths

By piggies - 07/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 348

Overenthusiastic

By Jeremy - 25/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at the gym trying out the rowing machine. On my first pull, I leaned too far back, lost my balance, and launched myself straight off the seat. I landed on the mat behind me while people around me pretended not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 159

Glad to help

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 169

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The Top

Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 311

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 167

You deserved it 5 080

Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 132

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 902

You deserved it 2 745

Today, after dropping my phone in the toilet, I left it dismantled outside in my backyard to dry hoping it could be saved. I forgot about the phone as well as the sprinklers that were scheduled to go off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 646

You deserved it 3 992

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 4 239