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Mr Hyde

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 22:00

Today, I filed for divorce after only two months because my husband would not allow my kids to attend their father's funeral. I know it's necessary and I have to get my kids away from this prick, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 139

New BFF unlocked

By Anna - 16/03/2026 12:00

Today, it's been three years that I've worked as a waitress at a fine local restaurant. I like the work and it felt special when a regular customer, with my permission, hugged and complimented me, and said, "I appreciate you, 'Anna the Cool'. Thanks for helping to make this my fave restaurant." If only my friends were this nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 95

Healthcare is broken

By kimraye20 - 20/03/2026 00:00

Today, I've found out I developed carpal tunnel in my right hand and need surgery. On top of that I have degenerative arthritis in my left hip, which needs immediate surgery as well. I haven’t met my $5,000 insurance deductible and have to pay out of pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 75

Craving taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband caught me sneaking out of his parents' house to get food. I love my in-laws, they’re the type of people others dream of having, but the food is so horrible. I don’t understand how in such a large family of amazing people not one of them has figured out how to make a decent meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 96

Bang bang bank

By Freerickson - 12/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 366

Intentional?

By Libris Mortis - 23/04/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I intentionally caused my parents to have an intensely heated argument when I asked them how and where they first met. Dad said it was at a funeral, and mom said it was at a burial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 272

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, I feel like I’m living in some horrible campy horror comedy. I was walking to the kitchen when my cat ran under my feet, causing me to trip and fall backward through my glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 75

Safety first

By BRIAN TABORDA - 07/05/2026 09:00 - Colombia - Medellín

Today, my wife told me she’s leaving me because her "nervous system now perceives me as a threat." Apparently, seven years ago I was her "safe space," but now I’m just a cortisol spike in human form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 111

Sorry sweetie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I admitted to my best friend that I was having second thoughts about getting married and was probably going to break up with him. Unfortunately, my fiance's daughter, who I absolutely adore, overheard the conversation and threw a huge screaming tantrum asking why I didn't want to be her mommy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 560

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 79

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 88

Close call

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I started going over my accounts to change passwords after a massive network breach from Google and Facebook. Obviously my online bank account was going to be my first stop. I then realized that this whole time my online account had 2-factor authentication and I never turned it on. I don't know how my account was never hacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 309

Get out

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my husband came home from work in a bad mood. Why? He found out that a certain female coworker of his isn't single anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 87

Body heat management

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 89

Brainrot

By Susan01 - 08/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 526

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 03:00 - Romania

Today, on the way to work, I saw a mama bear and two cubs beside the road. The guy in front of me hit and killed one of the cubs and sped off. Mama bear ran out into the road, blocked my path, and must have thought I killed her cub, because she attacked my car and tore the bumper and side panel off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 80

I'm still hungry

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 491

Chloramine time

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 102

Messy

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I absent-mindedly poured the putrid water from the sink’s air trap into the sink that I'd just removed the air trap out of, and flooded the cupboard I then had to crawl into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 342

Freak out

By Dough - 20/08/2025 00:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 86

Crossed wires

By katsumi - 28/08/2025 22:00 - Japan - Setagaya-ku

Today, I spent hours carefully writing a super-polite email to an international law firm about an invoice mistake. I finally pressed send, only to realize I had addressed it to my gym trainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 336

Level up

By WhoamI? - 12/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 220

Latte

By Latte - 15/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I ordered my usual at my local coffee shop. The barista asked, “Name for the order?” For some reason, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Latte.” So they called out “Latte” when it was ready, and I had to shame-walk to the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 220

Doofus

By Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 424

Almost famous

By Not on tiktok, never will - 29/09/2025 22:00

Today, someone asked for my autograph at the mall. Flattered, I signed their notebook and even posed for a selfie. Later I found out they'd thought I was some weird nerdy guy from TikTok. I’m not on TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 379

Always check where you're posting

By Jimbob - 08/10/2025 20:00

Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 676

Unprepared

By Anonymous - 12/10/2025 09:00

Today, during a job interview, I was asked to describe myself in three words. My mind went blank, so I panicked and blurted out, “Hungry, sleepy and… flexible?” The interviewer raised an eyebrow and said, “That's not the worst answer I've ever gotten but… come on.” I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 182

Bad time for jokes

By David04 - 15/10/2025 22:00

Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 93

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 12:00

Today, after years of no contact, my brother texted me for my birthday. I replied, "You and your son are doing great I hope!" I then came to find out that he hasn't seen his son in 500 days and his ex refuses to let him see his son, since she has full custody and he is back on drugs. I didn't know and was genuinely hoping for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 84

Product placement

By Anna - 14/11/2025 00:00

Today, half-asleep, I stumbled into the bathroom in the dark. I didn’t notice my boyfriend had yet again left the toilet seat up. I sat down, fell halfway in, screamed, and in my panic flushed the toilet with my phone in my hand. Goodbye, my little Samsung friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 356

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The Top

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 309

You deserved it 3 406

Today, being a broke college student struggling to make ends meet, I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy website. The first person to message me was my high school history teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 1 324

Today, I was working at my job at a McDonald's. I was on my break, so I went to use the restroom. When I finished, I tried to open the door, but the lock broke. I was stuck in the basement bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 176

Today, I managed to "permanently and irrevocably" damage my spine. How? By bending down and picking up a piece of paper. According to my doctor, essentially I need to, "bend over like a stripper if I want to pick something up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 146

Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 362

Today, my crush has been acting weird around me with his best friend. He's been totally avoiding me. I talked to his best friend and I asked about the vibe change, and if they're mad at me. He acted a little surprised and casually said, "No… I mean I did shit-talk you for like two hours yesterday, but other than that we're chill." FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 125