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OP here! The ring had always been so tight that I couldn't get it off, but I guess loosing baby weight combined with the cold weather, my finger shrunk enough. I agree with commenters... I found it extremely odd that I didn't notice... Maybe a case of missing limb syndrome but with a ring? Anyhow, after spending a morning raking the leaves in freezing rain, I FOUND IT! An FML win! (Oh, and #55 sleet does freeze leaves when you live in Texas and the ground is warm enough to melt the sleet but the wind cold enough to re-freeze it. But we can compromise and say we are both right because it has been alternating between freezing rain and sleet for a little while now). WIN!

By fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 2 384

Like a dream

By love and tolerape, apparently - 01/03/2015 19:24 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after a 7-year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 200

You deserved it 8 432

By shameonme - 01/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 828

You deserved it 17 410

Headshot

By PeterRabit - 25/07/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 882

You deserved it 47 236

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 11:36 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 234

You deserved it 2 149

By Cherrish it - 04/09/2012 04:24 - United States - Carmichael

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 613

You deserved it 58 928

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 466

You deserved it 4 327

By embarrassed niece - 09/07/2013 16:15 - United States - Cumming

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 50 187

Get it off!

By chocofreak - 10/05/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 44 987

By SariLone - 19/05/2013 18:02 - India - Mumbai

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 8 683

Richard?

By fartbucket51995129565 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 605

You deserved it 6 948

By Mmm - 25/07/2015 10:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 375

You deserved it 23 168

The trumpet of success

By interviewed - 16/09/2009 10:37 - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 057

You deserved it 4 208

By Maggie123 - 14/09/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 299

You deserved it 27 943

By bad boyfriend - 26/03/2010 01:50 - Canada

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 25 340

By baby shak - 14/01/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 769

You deserved it 6 294

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The Top

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 2 638

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 256

You deserved it 32 876

Today, as I have been the past week, I've was sent to fix my coworker's fuck-ups in his new area, and help him out as I know it. I then needed help in his old area, and got told to suck it up and figure it out. I've been doing this a year, he's been doing it for 5 years FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 291

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 452

Today, a patient in the emergency department insisted on needing a treatment, and got mad at me when I told him it was nonsense. His "proof" was a Tik Tok-video he once saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 116

Today, I’m too damn nice. I bought a cart of groceries for someone who was asking for help buying food outside a grocery store, so now I get to deal with the self-hatred that comes with being too nice for my own good. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 779