Kids: Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs...

By beya - 31/08/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 000

You deserved it 5 898

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Same thing different taste

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 717

You deserved it 5 588

By Scabby - 11/04/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 517

You deserved it 3 645

By Lorena - 21/04/2012 19:26 - United States - Kapolei

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 108

You deserved it 3 250

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 481

You deserved it 5 686

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 419

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 241

You deserved it 4 779

By sickmom - 21/01/2014 11:07 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 640

You deserved it 5 528

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 154

By Spotted - 18/02/2009 22:09 - Canada

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 3 977

By ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 776

You deserved it 3 443

Fernmelder 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:37

that is nasty

crazychika 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:38

Ewwwww! What a little bugger! Yea... here's one reason why I'm NOT having kids :P

Comments

_jdreaming 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 19:35

*gasp* that is disgusting!!!!!!!

nicholleexo0 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:14

hhahahah thtsss soooo grossss.....ewwww

ragsy 7

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:19

I'm going to remember this story for the next person who says, "Oh, you can't really hate children!!??"

dELiA14 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:32

THAT'S NASTY MAN!!! what kid would do that?!?

imsleepingbeauty 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:51

Anyone remember the movie Damien: Omen II Just sayin!

Hockeylover87_71 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 22:46

and this, is why I don't want kids

PurpDOODE 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:07

THIS IS MY FAVORITE! THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU!

irrelevantxx 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 5:04

OH GOD THATS SO GROSS! D:

Nolan124 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 6:21

YDI for having satin for a kid

DameGreyWulf 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 8:35

Actually, that would be great, you could wear them in public!

Ranoona 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 17:58

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 585

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Today, I was promised that I wouldn't have to work late because I had tomorrow off for my birthday. My coworkers decided that none of them want to work late, and that I could do it. So I am stuck working late and have to come in on my birthday, which I had requested off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 245

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 994

You deserved it 75 066

Today, I was having a conversation with a friend at the park when my dog ran up to me with something in his mouth. I thought it was a stick. I bent down to take it, only to realize it was a dead squirrel. My dog just stared at me, tongue lolling, like, “It’s a stick, throw it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 87

Today, I found out that my "I don't care about boy problems" friend decided it would be a great idea to talk to my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend about me. My ex was the one who told me. He thought I'd asked my friend to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 117

Today, I had to clean up dirt from flipped-over flowerpot mess for the 100th time. Why? Because the neighbour won’t stop feeding the squirrels peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 218

Same thing different taste

Natural selection

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