Animals: Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet... - FML

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 3 785

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 721

You deserved it 35 150

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 199

You deserved it 4 036

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 937

You deserved it 5 874

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 348

You deserved it 7 657

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 207

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 521

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 739

You deserved it 13 583

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 333

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 892

SCREAM!

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 298

Next

Top comments

domking1315 20

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:05

The itsy bitsy spider went up the va-gi-na Out came the pee and washed the spider out!

CynePhoba 23

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:03

Poor spider...

Comments

Cad6 24

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:14

Spider man, spider man, friendly piss loving spider man.

Cad6 24

Saturday 21 April 2012 17:23

Something ****** up happened...I posted this same comment before, except when I came back to the home screen this FML had disappeared. Then, when I refreshed the page, this FML was there, however my comment was no longer visible. I thought something glitched so I posted this comment again and the same thing happened. I came back now and all the comments I posted are visible. What the ****?!

TheMathMajor 26

Saturday 21 April 2012 20:48

EVERYONE REPENT! WE MUST DRIVE OUT THE DEAMON! :P

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Saturday 21 April 2012 21:35

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!

Mischief109 11

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:16

Eesh! That's gross. FYL

Birdie_Sage 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:20

Spider babies!!! YDI for not looking before you wiped.

Angelrose2004 17

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:17

The itzy bitzy spider tried to crawl up the.... Nevermind, that's gross! *going back to my corner now*

reversezebra 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:22

Your*

twisted_cherub 14

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:22

You're upset, OP? Think how that poor spider feels.

perdix 29

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:21

You're peeing spiders now? You should get to a urologist before you develop bladderwebs.

Birdie_Sage 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:23

I wonder what you did after that... But that's just terrible!

ClickOnMe 2

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:27

your not infested with crabs your infested with spiders

katcot99 11

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:26

Spider? On you? Gross

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Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 142

You deserved it 7 019

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 187

You deserved it 31 011

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 726

You deserved it 10 833

Today, I knew my mom wanted to go out to dinner with me and my sisters, and I couldn't remember why, so I called her and said, "Why are we going out to dinner?" and she goes, "Well, we always have." I forgot today's the anniversary of my stepdad dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 594

Today, I woke up and got out of my room to find two pit bulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 132

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 431

You deserved it 34 846