Animals: Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet... - FML

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 3 785

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 721

You deserved it 35 150

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 199

You deserved it 4 036

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 937

You deserved it 5 874

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 348

You deserved it 7 657

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 207

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 521

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 739

You deserved it 13 583

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 334

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 892

SCREAM!

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 298

Next

Top comments

domking1315 20

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:05

The itsy bitsy spider went up the va-gi-na Out came the pee and washed the spider out!

CynePhoba 23

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:03

Poor spider...

Comments

PlaySpades 21

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:41

I just hope it started on the toilet paper and not in her.... *gags*

PeteyPablo12308 20

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:39

EEWW!!!!! That is ******* ****** up!!!

ClosetTroll 10

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:36

I still can't get over the fact that you looked at the toilet paper after wiping. Hope all of the spider's legs were on its body and not elsewhere.

nativegirl13 3

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:46

Most of the population as i believe...but I'm guessing you don't

PlaySpades 21

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:42

I just really hope you're a guy because if not then that's just really unhygienic.

hthelittleone 10

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:43

I don't know how to tell you this, but pee doesn't come out of a woman's ******.

perdix 29

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:49

The spider was just trying to high-five itself. They celebrate blatantly when they get some human pussy. Spiders are the frat boys among the Arachnid class.

MizzErikaHart 8

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:53

I think boys should wipe, or dab really....

eyecon502 13

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:49

Spider's last though: "Holy Shit!"

hthelittleone 10

Saturday 21 April 2012 16:49

Pee doesn't come out of a woman's ******, but I still like the song!

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I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 139

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I agree, your life sucks 8 040

You deserved it 635

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