By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 868
You deserved it 54 918
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

turtleomnom 0

clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.

316 7
Nuahavizu 17

And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P

239 6

Comments

emilo_fml 0

So what was your mom thinking about your pants?

16 2
scruffy_janitor5 1

Autoerotic asphyxiation?

44 2
mrlopez 13

In other words, pleasurable s3x while being choked. But this one takes a slight twist with something really unexpected :P

7 1
scruffy_janitor5 1

As your pic says, cool story bro

11 2
Enigmax2514 7

How so? It was his decision to chew gum and ********** at the same time, and he should know that vigorous exercise will cause him to pant, inevitably sucking the gum down his throat. If it was not his fault, then whose is it? His mother for not teaching him the art of masturbating whilst chewing gum?

16 2
stroudie94 9

I clicked YDI when I saw gum and masturbating. No need for me to read the rest.

25 5
Darnell1223 3

Wow shoulda just said u were scratching yourself u just had your pants around ur ankles to do it

4 11
iliketurdles 7

Explain the lotion and wads of tissue next to the bed?

10 0
PinkFun1969 9

Thank god you did not have a belt around your neck also!! make sure you have a locked door so no one can get in!! I am watching Avater.

3 33
aznpiboy24 5

dumbass then he would have choked and died, better to be caught and get the gum out than possibly dying

8 0
FurryRocks 10

Pink I have a stocking fetish so I got a huge boner when I saw you picture

7 3
cjhilde 1

Furry, i have a fetish for wolves with boobies so i have a boner too. Wanna touch tips?

13 1
FurryRocks 10

I also love furries

4 0
browncity23 0

dumbass... It's Avatar

2 0
Turukmactao 0

What did we learn today kids dont chew gum and ********** at the same time or somthing bad will happen :P. ps. dont do it !!!!

1 5
lizzieislovely 11

I think we've all learnt a very important lesson today...

12 2
lizzieislovely 11

Yeah, so LEARNT and LEARNED are BOTH right. The T is more common in Britain, whereas ED is more common in America. Also, "retart" would mean you were trying to say "retarded" apparently, which means you're sentence is a bit "retart" itself.

2 0