Miscellaneous: Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped,... - FML

By sillystring - 13/10/2009 10:09 - China

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 807

You deserved it 3 201

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Shite day

By Anonymous - 26/06/2023 13:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, while coming home from school on my bike, I lost control of it, and went straight into a light pole. Thankfully I was at a very low speed. After that, someone splashed puddle of water at me with their car. After getting to home, I went to take a bath during which the shampoo went into my left eye. It's still hurting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 157

When life gives you lemons…

By Lemonhead - 30/11/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 024

You deserved it 3 193

ARE YOU ******* SORRY?

By Evelyn - 19/03/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 524

You deserved it 7 908

By anon - 29/11/2011 23:59 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 825

You deserved it 2 280

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 1 729

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 244

You deserved it 2 478

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 10:02 - Australia - Murarrie

Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 1 302

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 426

Party time!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 285

Car washed

By IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 728

You deserved it 3 399

Next

Top comments

LemonadePink 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:13

3 year olds cry about anything, unless they got really hurt...not really an FML. Just funny. haha

Veritas143 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:31

Darn biker gangs always attacking the disabled fyl :p

Comments

Ever123 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 2:16

not an fml

bamireh345 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 7:46

Poor 3 year olds...oh and you of course!

baseballplaya5 7

Saturday 20 August 2011 18:48

Awww fyl and the 3 year olds

BeibertSmitor 10

Monday 26 September 2011 8:01

The moral of the story: always outgun your friends, and never go anywhere ready for battle. :D

Bcfrmkc816 17

Tuesday 1 November 2011 4:26

You only have one eye? Epic fail

danaavery 5

Wednesday 7 November 2012 5:22

If you can't see, don't walk.

bluerara912 12

Monday 24 June 2013 17:31

I'm going to call bullshit on this story

chrisstachon 30

Wednesday 9 October 2013 19:43

lol

KobeLebroJordan 17

Sunday 16 August 2015 8:01

"Dad I'm doing it, loo-." THUD

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 5 454

Today, I actually felt good after being rude to someone. My avoidant personality disorder and social anxiety have made me like such a goddamn pushover that standing up for myself in any way, right or wrong, makes me feel proud of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 224

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 259

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 063

You deserved it 52 978

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 503

You deserved it 4 362

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 028

You deserved it 2 896