Work

Oh, hi y'all!

By JC. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 974

You deserved it 40 687

By khaelian - 11/11/2010 16:53 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 967

You deserved it 4 088

Cautious

By STILL IN A PANDEMIC - 18/10/2023 00:02

Today, I FaceTimed my boyfriend at work instead of calling him, because I suspected he wasn't wearing his mask, and I don't want him to bring home COVID or RSV. He called me an "insufferable control freak" and didn't come home that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 2 026

By unlucky - 06/02/2009 22:40 - United States

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 702

You deserved it 25 816

By LaLince - 28/06/2013 08:17 - Switzerland - Full

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 581

You deserved it 53 756

LaLince tells us more.

LaLince 40

Saturday 29 June 2013 15:00

Hi folks, OP here. He took the hint.. If there will be a next time, I'll use my cell phone.

By lifebecrazed - 17/01/2013 16:57

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 366

You deserved it 2 962

The Pitt

By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 535

You deserved it 5 045

Mad scientist type

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 04:00

Today, and ever since my dad had to give up his rented office space, he now works on his equations on a big whiteboard where the dining room table used to be. He’s also one of those weirdos who can only concentrate properly without his pants on. The horrors I’ve seen several times already… FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 153

By ChinaWillOwnUs - 27/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 818

You deserved it 236

By smurfpoo - 09/08/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 295

You deserved it 4 202

Alexa play "Just Make it Stop" by Low

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my divorce mediation is in a few days and I had planned for a stress-free weekend to be rested and prepared. In the course of 24 hours, half my office quit, I got a splinter to wood embedded under a finger nail and had to get it removed by an urgent care doctor, then I found out I get ripped off by someone. P.S. I got COVID too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 157

Dilbert principle

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 101

By smileydays - 29/01/2014 03:09 - Canada - Merritt

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 824

You deserved it 3 818

Time wasted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my new manager, who I have spent the last three months training, had a managers' meeting and now won't be returning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 67

Seize the means

By pygmyfrog - 10/12/2020 14:02

Today, I watched a supervisor in our workspace staple an underling's skirt to her shirt, as the supervisor didn't like her wearing a hip-level skirt, despite having no public contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 101

By AbsolutelyEffed - 19/02/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 134

You deserved it 30 536

Run for your life

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, at work, we had a fire drill. I was the first to run out of the building, but in my haste, I tripped on the stairs, and rolled down the flight. When I got to the bottom, I tried to stand up, but my ankle was already swelling. What felt like the entire office watched as I limped to the designated meeting point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 437

Pianissimo

By Anonymous - 20/06/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly, I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 975

You deserved it 4 393

By Username - 11/08/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 199

You deserved it 2 728

By Brian - 16/07/2011 19:19 - United States

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 064

You deserved it 18 850

Am I hired?

By KLM - 14/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I had a job interview. As I walked in, I confidently shook the interviewer's hand, only to say, "I'm doing well, how are you?" before she'd even asked me how I was, or even said anything. The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur of awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 239

Sorry

By Chelsea - 08/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 667

By dragonstooth257 - 20/08/2018 15:00

Today, I confessed to my husband that I quoted Lightning McQueen in an interview and got my dream job because of it. He wont stop laughing and telling my friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 761

By fuck you walmart - 26/04/2013 22:03 - United States

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 272

You deserved it 3 423

By HotelNA614 - 01/06/2018 14:30 - United States - Mason

Today, while working at a hotel, I had a guest return his room key in my hands for once instead of throwing it on the counter. Progress, right? Except that it was covered in snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 671

You deserved it 221

By smellslikeahangover - 29/07/2015 02:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 870

You deserved it 1 833

By Distracted - 09/04/2015 20:11 - United States - Greenfield

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 465

You deserved it 42 083

Pride

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 04:00

Today, my husband found out the owner of the shop across from our shop is homophobic. Our daughter is bisexual, so he’s started Pride-themed warfare against the shop with flags everywhere. It’s a rather conservative neighbourhood and our customers have deserted us in droves. We may have to close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 642

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 469

You deserved it 7 855

Let me go home, for a start

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 10:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 125

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 128

You deserved it 29 867

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 385

You deserved it 6 725

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 930

You deserved it 5 684

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 309

You deserved it 6 122

Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 77

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 2 439