Work

Cats with jobs

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 15:00

Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 973

Get them away from me

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 16:27 - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 009

You deserved it 3 756

Inflation sucks

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 16:00

Today. I've been retired for two years. At the time we were doing good, until the economy tripled the cost of living. Went back to work again and tore my shoulder. Six months recovery, during which time my manager tried to fire me, then two months before my return to work date, they changed insurance companies and left me with no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 19/06/2017 02:00

Today, I woke up, got dressed, drove for an hour, just to find out that I was fired. This is the closest job near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 585

You deserved it 407

Tense

By pizzacat - 22/09/2010 08:49 - Australia

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 689

You deserved it 8 390

Social media was a mistake

By Nextman - 14/06/2019 06:24

Today, my coworker, who is constantly singing "Baby Shark," wanted to take selfie for her Instagram account. She moved all the junk from her desk to mine, so her desk would look great in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 09:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 2 210

Snoopy snitch

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 06:00 - United States - Fullerton

Today, my coworker was examining my office area because I plan on submitting my resignation on Monday and she's in charge of office space. Another coworker was eavesdropping and emailed my boss to tell him I'm resigning and she would like to use my office space for other reasons. He didn't know I was leaving yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 196

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 231

You deserved it 2 581

The usual?

By yeahno - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 968

You deserved it 2 526

Merry sigma grindset!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, I'd be spending it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 106

You deserved it 2 373

The Curse

By nancypants1124 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 990

You deserved it 12 728

By sharni88 - 04/03/2011 07:13 - Australia

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 002

You deserved it 29 387

Not funny anymore

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 1 887

OK Shaggy

By Notakidpusher - 24/11/2015 03:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my coworker brought her 3-year-old son to work with her. When introducing him to me, she dropped her bag and bent over to pick it up, knocking him over with her butt in the process. When she stood up, she noticed he was sitting on the ground crying. She then accused me of pushing him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 1 440

By sincerely depressed. - 09/08/2012 21:42 - United States - Fremont

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 833

You deserved it 40 533

By Anonymous - 06/11/2012 18:29 - United States - Monson

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 882

You deserved it 1 792

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 05:25 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 437

You deserved it 7 024

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 214

You deserved it 3 017

Slacker

By UnderAcheiver - 26/08/2016 20:46 - United States - Cypress

Today, my new supervisor arrived after my old one had transferred away and we had a quick evaluation meeting. As it turns out, I'm not actually a good employee like I thought. I just had a shitty boss who didn't care enough to let me know I wasn't meeting company standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 589

You deserved it 1 688

By notyourfriend - 09/09/2014 01:26 - Canada - Peterborough

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 430

You deserved it 3 464

Blues Junior III

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 11:00

Today, one of my coworkers was recently promoted, so I'm now officially the last person of our team, hired in the same year, to still have "junior" as part of my job title. Not that it’s relevant, but I’m also the oldest member of the team by about 15 years, yet still "junior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 264

By *SuperCringe* - 28/09/2017 16:00

Today, I was matched with my boss on Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 203

You deserved it 1 009

By sober judge - 03/10/2013 03:46 - United States - Enfield

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 606

You deserved it 7 871

Alexa, play "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel

By Anonymous - 19/12/2021 10:58

Today, I've come to terms that I'm only living to work. I'm going to be 25, no friends, never had any experience with women. Been trying all year to meet someone, hasn't worked out at all. Dead end job, school did nothing for me. I literally just exist to work, and have no happy memories at all. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 246

By Angelica - 28/10/2011 01:48 - United States

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 932

You deserved it 2 401

Not the brightest bulb

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 03:00

Today, I found out that a female colleague thinks that because I got a vasectomy, I "got my balls chopped off." Then again, this woman also believes the cracks in her front brick fence are because her house is built on the equator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 111

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 12:00

Today, I was working from home and accidentally turned my camera on when I joined a Zoom meeting, while not wearing pants. I had to pretend I was having technical difficulties to quickly put some on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 751

Thanks, I hate this

By fat girl - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - North Pole

Today, my coworkers threw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 465

You deserved it 5 712

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was cool, until I found out that the HR recruiter was my mother-in-law. She told me that the work was mine if I break up with her daughter. I have until the next Wednesday to think about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 106

Today, after a long shift at work, I got home feeling sick and nauseous. I went to remove the tampon I'd had in all day and go to bed, but I literally uncorked myself. There was blood everywhere... on the floor, all over my legs, even on the walls. Everywhere I look, I find more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 280

You deserved it 904

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 042

You deserved it 14 090

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 469

You deserved it 6 739

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 675

You deserved it 62 638

Today, my new neighbour is totally a Karen, she has the sunglasses, the haircut and the outfits we all know so well, plus I can hear how she speaks to her husband and kids through the wall. I’m afraid to leave my house in case she introduces herself and immediately finds something to moan about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 733