Miscellaneous

We can be friends

By Anonymous - 09/09/2025 00:00

Today, I was told that it's "weird" for a single guy to go to events by himself and that I should go places with my friends if I "didn't want to look creepy." It was a speed-friending event. I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 95

Because I got high

By Sam - 08/09/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 436

Name that tune!

By Anonymous - 06/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 355

Night terror

By Freaked OUT - 06/09/2025 03:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 107

Don't tell Hbomberguy!

By Bad speech - 06/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my cousin’s wedding. Nervous, I copied a speech template I found online. Halfway through, the groom’s father interrupted me to say, “I read that exact speech on Pinterest.” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 558

Sometimes, it's better to say nothing

By Lauren - 05/09/2025 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 489

Flat on my ass

By Slipped - 05/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to a cook out and sat on a flimsy plastic chair. Halfway through my burger, the chair gave out, and I collapsed in front of everyone, still holding the burger. Someone shouted, “At least you saved the burger!” while everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 110

Glad to help

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 167

I started a joke…

By Shabby Rabbit - 03/09/2025 18:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 148

Karma?

By Pristine-Praline-977 - 02/09/2025 15:00

Today, it's been 5-ish years since I bought my condo. Last year, my washer became unbalanced and flooded my entire place and I had to do a total remodel. Everyone said, “What a freak accident, nothing like this will happen again!” Today the hot water supply line to the sink burst and flooded my condo. What did I do in a past life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 77

The passenger

By Green_Artist_6409 - 02/09/2025 09:00 - India

Today, I travelled to the beach, and I got what I thought was a food crumb in my phone charger port. I poked it around and it was so gross to realize that it was an insect. I removed the bug with a tissue corner, used an old brush to clean the rest up. I panicked and thought it was a bug infestation in my hostel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 148

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 170

Life sucks

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, somewhere along the way, I became the woman who goes to the Asda in a dressing gown with no bra after dropping my kids off at their dad's house, because life is shit, and my self respect have dropped that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 187

Landlocked

By kayak probs - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Newtown

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 637

You deserved it 26 278

Be the change you want to see in the world

By Anonymous - 31/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 111

It's gone woke

By Scrafty - 31/08/2025 18:00 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, they introduced a mega evolved form of my favorite Pokémon, but it looks like a Ku Klux Klan member. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 167

Get a load of this guy

By Anonymous - 31/08/2025 14:00 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I am smarter, cooler, better and more mature than everyone else by a huge margin. Anyone who refuses to accept this objective fact is a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 885

The Destroyer

By mr_p - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 3 688

It wasn't me

By Tag - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Perth

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 355

You deserved it 2 783

I can explain

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 159

Nice try

By GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 491

Response times

By woahheylex - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 948

You deserved it 5 435

Crossed wires

By katsumi - 29/08/2025 05:00 - Japan - Setagaya-ku

Today, I spent hours carefully writing a super-polite email to an international law firm about an invoice mistake. I finally pressed send, only to realize I had addressed it to my gym trainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 326

Everyone's a critic

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cortlandt Manor

Today, I brought my best painting yet to college. I showed it off and everyone loved it. Or almost everyone. When we came back from lunch break, we found someone had sharpied the words "JIZZ BUTT" all over it. That painting took two weeks to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 979

You deserved it 2 049

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 06:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 380

Soap opera

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 74

Seething rage

By ninja0609x93 - 25/08/2025 14:00 - United States - North Augusta

Today, it's yet another day complete strangers come up to my brother's girlfriend and compliment on her "spectacular charisma" and how she can "brighten people's day without speaking to them." She's a wannabe Disney singer, a little fat, and a ginger. I'm a 3 and 4 level cheerleader! WTF?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 120

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my phone’s flashlight turned on in my pocket while I was at the movie theater. I didn’t notice until the stranger next to me whispered, “Hey, your dick is glowing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 143

Welcome back

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 464

You deserved it 2 322

Overenthusiastic

By Jeremy - 25/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at the gym trying out the rowing machine. On my first pull, I leaned too far back, lost my balance, and launched myself straight off the seat. I landed on the mat behind me while people around me pretended not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 159

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mum met my amazing new girlfriend, but later said she'd probably cheat on me. She had correctly foreseen my ex would get pregnant against my will, take the child away, and sue for support, which I didn't believe back then. What should I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 209

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 732

You deserved it 6 194

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer, as well as all the emails from my long-distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job, and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 946

You deserved it 51 076

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 264

You deserved it 230

Today, a few few friends, along with my long-time crush of mine came over to my house so we could finish a school project. As soon as he stepped into my house, he went pale, turned heel, and refused to step foot in my house. Why? Because the bison taxidermy above my fireplace scares him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 459

Today, after being unnecessarily cruel and smearing me in court, my ex had his first weekend with the kids since our split. He has texted me no less than 38 times, wanting play by play directions on how to take care of them. I wanna tell him to go fuck himself but I’m worried my kids will suffer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 192