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Decorum and etiquette

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 12:00

Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML

agreeclassic 104

vote type 1 479

Rough night

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML

agreeclassic 341

vote type 1 94

Alpha top dog

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was meeting my daughter's boyfriend and I joked I’d have to show him who was boss around here (my wife, without a doubt) but as a 5”8 man I have no idea how to intimidate a 6”11, 20 year-old who looks like he was born in a gym. My wife won’t stop laughing at me. FML

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 413

Won't someone think of the landlords?

By Broke - 27/12/2025 12:00

Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML

agreeclassic 340

vote type 1 40

Casual

By Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML

agreeclassic 332

vote type 1 83

Cute

By Zai Sensei - 13/12/2025 12:00

Today, an anonymous complaint got me not only in the brink of getting fired, but also possible incarceration. I'm a preschool teacher. What happened? As I saw my students off, one of my students suddenly gave me a kiss goodbye (on the lips) as she happily ran off. Someone who saw that probably wasn't pleased. FML

agreeclassic 378

vote type 1 73

Here comes trouble…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 12:00

Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 600

Bull

By Bull no more - 11/12/2025 20:00

Today, I'm the "bull" of a cuckolding relationship. Well, not anymore: I got the usual "come over" text and went over, only for the husband to come after me with a crowbar, yelling that his wife treats him like dirt because of me. FML

agreeclassic 94

vote type 1 254

Moving on

By Mourning Myrtle - 13/12/2025 15:00

Today, my father publicly announced his engagement to his new girlfriend. My mom passed away not even eight months ago. FML

agreeclassic 384

vote type 1 113

Bonus

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 22:00

Today, I finally got a bonus virtual gift card in my email that was thrown in for buying a new mattress. Except I've never used a virtual gift card before, I only have the vaguest idea as to how to use it. I actually googled how to use it because I was so clueless. FML

agreeclassic 160

vote type 1 226

Not so Secret Santa

By Tim - 22/12/2025 09:00

Today I volunteered to organize the office Secret Santa. I carefully tracked names, budgets and preferences. On gift day, I realized I’d emailed the spreadsheet to everyone. People now know who hates mugs, who regifted last year, and who wrote “Anything but candles.” Our Christmas spirit died pretty darned quick. FML

agreeclassic 92

vote type 1 431

Disrespect

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 03:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML

agreeclassic 349

vote type 1 128

Beep beep

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML

agreeclassic 85

vote type 1 398

Life on the North Pole

By Late for work (at least I had an excuse) - 11/12/2025 22:00

Today, after a snowstorm, I went to start my car early in the morning for work. The door was frozen solid, so I had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver. Then, as I started to drive off, my foot slipped off the clutch and the car stalled out. The battery was too weak to start it again. FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 78

Did the rescue work?

By Hero of the day - 19/12/2025 00:00

Today, I tried a heroic rescue: a toddler’s teddy stuck on a fifth-floor balcony. I borrowed a ladder, climbed while sweating, reached it, and felt my trousers rip with a sound like Velcro in a thunderstorm. Dangling there with my superhero boxers exposed, three people filmed me while jeering. FML

agreeclassic 280

vote type 1 90

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

agreeclassic 339

vote type 1 72

Seasonal depression

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 20:00

Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML

agreeclassic 127

vote type 1 73

Consent

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 03:00

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 348

Downloading

By Always less important than video games - 12/12/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML

agreeclassic 170

vote type 1 276

QUIET!

By Janey - 17/12/2025 09:00

Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML

agreeclassic 65

vote type 1 475

Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML

agreeclassic 71

vote type 1 422

I'm gonna head out

By Shirlz - 22/12/2025 15:00

Today, I answered a question in a meeting that wasn’t directed at me. I spoke for way too long before realizing everyone was silent because the question had actually been rhetorical. My boss nodded slowly and moved on. No one mentioned it again. FML

agreeclassic 147

vote type 1 313

Messy bitches

By Please explain - 24/12/2025 09:00

Today, I don't understand how my wife and son are incapable of opening any kind of packaging without tearing it to shreds. If they open a box of cereal or a bag of chips, it looks like a dog got hold of it. How? FML

agreeclassic 308

vote type 1 55

Thanks, asshole

By God dammit - 06/12/2025 20:00

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

agreeclassic 353

vote type 1 73

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

agreeclassic 164

vote type 1 266

Go go dancer

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was dancing in a club when some manager told me to stop messing around and get back on stage or I’m not getting paid. I think he thought I worked for him. I was in jeans and a glittery vest, all the dancers were in booty shorts and bikini tops. What the hell, my guy? FML

agreeclassic 302

vote type 1 72

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to look productive in a meeting by nodding along, only to realize too late that I was actually nodding off. When my head dropped forward, it made a loud thud on my desk, and everyone stopped talking at once. FML

agreeclassic 91

vote type 1 367

Nice to see so much of you

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 22:00

Today, I had to prepare a good setup to video chat with my friend in Hong Kong. I was so focused on the right lighting and angle, I didn't pay attention to what was in the background… Until my friend started giggling because she saw my tighty whitey-clad ass in the reflection of the mirror behind me. FML

agreeclassic 82

vote type 1 434

Stay out of it

By Muddy - 28/12/2025 00:00

Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML

agreeclassic 49

vote type 1 113

Chatty Cathy

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was recording a video for my online class. I say I tried, because my very chatty Siamese cat was yowling in the next room, then came in, leapt onto my desk, knocking over my mug onto my laptop. The recording caught me screaming and falling off my chair. FML

agreeclassic 267

vote type 1 82

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

agreeclassic 31 457

vote type 1 2 829

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

agreeclassic 33 855

vote type 1 3 701

Today, I saw the coronavirus news this morning, all about the new variant. I've been working 100% remotely for past year and a half. Here we fucking go again. FML

agreeclassic 969

vote type 1 198

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

agreeclassic 45 825

vote type 1 6 353

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

agreeclassic 80 702

vote type 1 7 224

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

agreeclassic 2 962

vote type 1 148