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Weird rules

By angel - 26/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was told to kill myself. Why? Because I DARED to put on deodorant when it’s cold outside. Apparently, you’re only supposed to need it when it’s hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 54

The other shoe will drop

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 03:00

Today, I survived the last round of layoffs. What didn't survive is my team, my manager, and my tasks. Now I'm "reporting" to a VP who used to be three levels above me and has never heard of me. I'm waiting for HR to wake up and realize that this change literally means I get six figures for doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 107

Strained out

By Anonymous - 05/03/2026 22:00

Today, my parents happily announced that they're getting remarried. They divorced because of the strain brought on by me nearly dying in a car accident. So basically they put us through all that shit, including me blaming myself for everything, for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 69

Protip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend scratched his balls then rubbed his finger under my nose, all so he could grab the TV remote and change the channel while I ran to the sink retching FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 103

Very irritable bowel syndrome

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 09:00

Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 73

Who does that?

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 00:00

Today, my son got angry when he came out as gay and my husband and I told him that we loved him no matter what. Turned out he wanted us to reject him so he could have a sob story and make people feel sorry for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 74

Derpina

By No, I am NOT!!! - 27/02/2026 00:00

Today, in our homecoming high school reunion, the batch's "derpina" broke cardinal rule #1, "No +1", by bringing her baby, brandishing her to everyone. When it was my turn, as I held the baby, she said her first word, "Daddy" and just like back in school, everyone started to tease me with her all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 299

It's called fashion

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 20:00

Today, I flew some 1,800km cross country for a work conference. The trip involved an Uber, two trains, the flight, a bus, and the conference itself. My shirt was inside out the whole time, and not one soul mentioned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 248

Grab it while you can

By Leann - 07/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had a blind date with someone who asked me for an evening out back on Valentine's Day. I was happy to have a date related to a special day. The catch: my date is a woman I know from work who has a crush on me. Should I feel good I agreed to time with another woman, or bad that it's my only date in 3 years? FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 270

Destination funerals

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 12:00

Today, my parents said we can't go to our grandma's funeral because it's going to be held in Hawaii in accordance with her wishes and we can't afford to travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 69

No escape

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was all set and ready to leave my cheating, narcissistic husband. I couldn't because my kids wouldn't come with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 113

I mean, come on…

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 22:00

Today, a friend is refusing to pay her final portion on the vacation we’ve been planning for over a year. She's met a new guy and he’s uncomfortable with her going on a girls' trip. We’ve been planning this trip longer than she’s known him and it’s too close to the date for us to get a full refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 52

Odd family

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce because I returned custody of my nieces and nephew to my brother, who has spent the last few years recovering from a horrible car accident. My wife wanted us to keep and adopt them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 70

LOL what?

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized that even if I want to have cute fun and admit when I was wrong, I still get "adulting sucks, get over it" when I joke that I "don't wanna grow apart or up too fast that you don't need me." Jesus, I realized after that there's no such thing as real love anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 312

Don't give in

By Concerned User - 25/02/2026 12:00

Today, no one in my circle of friends cares about Discord's privacy violations except me. I've explained it to all of them, but they're only worried about whether they personally have to send in ID verification, not about the fact that their user information will be collected and stored regardless! FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 271

Bathtime

By Anonymous - 01/03/2026 00:00

Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 104

Quality panic room time

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 20:00

Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 146

Is that even legal?

By what a cruel man - 08/03/2026 03:00

Today, my rich ex-husband died, and left our two children $100 each, while leaving his other children seven figures. He said in his will that it was his "revenge" for my infidelity. Now my kids won't talk to me. How cruel can you be, holding on to a grudge and punishing your own blood for it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 799

Trumpet solo

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 70

Heated gaming moment

By Too young for a job btw - 17/03/2026 00:00

Today, my younger brother broke his Switch in a fit of gamer rage. When my dad refused to buy him a new one, he had a massive tantrum. Later, he dunked mine in the toilet since it "wasn't fair" that I still had a Switch and he didn't. My parents beat him, but they won't buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 78

Mix up

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 09:00

Today, my manager told me point blank if my uncle weren’t a senior manager he’d fire me. My uncle isn’t a senior manager because I don’t have any uncles, just two aunts, but I’m terrified that if I tell my manager then he’ll fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 66

Evel Knievel tribute act

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 15:00

Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 836

Trapped

By FamilyIsTheBest - 11/03/2026 20:00

Today, I am forced to throw a baby shower for my entitled and witch of a sister in law. She and her husband have been making my life living hell for more than 10 years now. What their hellspawn would do, God only knows. No, I can't walk away. It's a cultural thing. I'm trapped until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 137

Take a look at this shit

By Sara - 13/03/2026 15:00

Today, I went to the doctor for advice on the horrid diarrhea problem I have, because I go every thirty minutes. Luckily, I had two very big stool samples to give my doctor when I got there. Why? Due to slow drivers and hitting ALL the red lights, it took an hour to get to the doctor's. Life sure is good when it's easygoing, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 68

You big baby

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband was supposed to have knee surgery but he wouldn't leave the house because he "got scared" no matter what I and even my mother-in-law tried to do. Now he can't have it for another six months and I took three weeks off work to help him that I can't cancel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 83

Looksmaxxing

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 15:00

Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 77

You believed him??

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 235

Yoyo

By Anonymous - 19/03/2026 00:00

Today, after injuring my muscles in my hip trying to do my stretches from my physical therapy, my weight has rebounded in an awful way. Even trying proper portion control doesn't cause my weight to budge and I can't treat myself without my weight leaping 5 pounds or more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 130

Acceptance

By Leesa - 15/03/2026 15:00

Today, it's my 16th birthday, a time meant to be a big day, so it felt right to tell my family I'm a lesbian. My dad and two brothers were fine with it; my bros hugged me to show support, and dad said he'd hang with me if I needed a pal to discuss girls with. My mom, well… who knew being gay made me "a bitch who betrayed her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 126

Happy family

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 09:00

Today, I asked my wife why she’s been in such a sour mood lately. She released a barrage of complaints, but the biggest one being that she’s bored. In fact, she described me and our kids as the most excruciatingly boring people she’s ever met, all because we’re introverts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 108

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The Top

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 743

You deserved it 3 989

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 473

You deserved it 29 207

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 114

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 221

You deserved it 4 124

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 406

You deserved it 3 207

Today, I got woken up by my parents telling me I had to go buy a car so they could have transportation. Neither of their cars work, so I was letting them use mine, and then they wrecked it. It needs nearly a thousand bucks in repairs to be drivable again, but since it was my car, I have to replace it now to appease them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 198