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Who am I?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 09:00

Today, my parents swore up and down for the umpteenth time that I'm their biological child, even though they're both white and I'm very obviously Hispanic. I know I'm adopted and I even got proof, but they dismiss it as AI. They keep insisting that "genetics are weird." I just want them to be honest with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 63

Mixed messages

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 22:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor pounding on her roof/my floor. I thought she was being a Karen and wanting me to be quiet, even though I wasn’t doing anything. I stomped back defiantly to make a point. Turns out she was having an asthma attack and was asking for help. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 318

I'm too old for this stuff (or so I thought)

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I'm 53 and I have four grown children and grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 162

Cold dish for dinner

By Zia - 25/03/2026 20:00

Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 836

Vengeance will be mine

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 15:00

Today, I had to get in contact with a crisis line because of how bad I am being bullied at work. Management won't get rid of the one responsible, as they are also part of Management. Several others have either quit or made complaints, as they are experiencing the same thing. Still nothing is getting done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 73

Loose lips sink friendships

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 15:00

Today, I overheard my best friend laughing and calling my fiance lame and stupid, all because he proposed to me with a bouquet instead of a ring. And here I was about to ask if she would be my maid of honor… FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 68

My client…

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 03:00

Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 186

Leave us alone

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 00:00

Today, my adoptive parents were harassed yet again simply because they're black and I'm white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 72

Shiny happy people

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 09:00

Today, it was picture day and I had gotten my hair really nice and my outfit was perfect. Then, disaster: I was fidgeting with those squishy things filled with water and glitter, and it suddenly exploded. One second I'm playing with it, the next it's exploded all over my face. It's safe to say I truly shined in that picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 300

Anything for a quiet life

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 22:00

Today, I got mad at my husband for slacking off on chores. I wanted help so we could both spend time with our daughters who were visiting. He was having a heart attack and didn't want to spoil the visit, so he kept quiet. I just got mad instead of noticing he was in pain. I'm a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 565

Keep me out of this

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out I can't go to Los Angeles to visit my grandparents for spring break like I'd planned because my asshole dad got some sort of court order preventing me from leaving the state. He and my mom are in a custody battle over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 76

On the ropes

By Nicky - 24/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm in bed pretending to sleep because I don't want to see my husband. He's manipulative and a jerk to me some times. I just don't want to deal with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 164

Touchdown

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 09:00

Today, I excitedly announced that I made captain of the football team. My stepdad told me to shut up and not rub it in. He's a failed high school football player himself, and here I was thinking that we were so close, he would be so proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 48

Third or fourth opinion?

By River Maria - 28/03/2026 03:00

Today, after months of being told I have pneumonia by different doctors, I decided to go to another hospital with better staff. There I learned that I will actually need to have open heart surgery to replace two valves in my heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 51

Do you deserve it, though?

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 00:00

Today, I tried to reconcile with my estranged father after learning that all the things my mom said were lies to turn me against him. He refused and told me that he has a new daughter and that I'm not part of the picture. I know I deserve it but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 202

I know what I'm doing

By Notsostrong - 30/03/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 115

Talking shit

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 15:00

Today, I found out our street has a community Facebook we’ve never been invited to join because it's used exclusively to chat shit about our family and post pics and videos of us doing things “the community” doesn’t like. Such as dog walking after 9pm and planting bushes instead of flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 82

Mad as snow

By Lucy J - 28/03/2026 09:00

Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 53

Impressive skills

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 03:00

Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 344

Hard pass

By Uhhh no - 12/03/2026 12:00

Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 66

Grit your teeth

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 00:00

Today, it's my son's wedding. I really don't want to go because he's marrying his former stepsister, whose father is my ex-husband. We went through an extremely nasty and bitter divorce and I absolutely want nothing to do with him, but I don't have a choice because I have to be there for my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 108

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 115

Dress code

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 03:00

Today, I attended my half-sister's wedding but no one had told me the venue was a converted barn with temporary outdoor gazebos on the fields of a working farm, so while everyone else, including the bride, attended in jeans and wellies, I rocked up in three inch heels, and yes I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 123

How do you eat a hamburger?

By Always my fault - 28/03/2026 12:00

Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 81

Heartless

By Out of Pocket to all! - 12/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was reminded of my ex who works and now lives in Manama, Bahrain. How? My sister and her in-laws called me a heartless dick for not being worried about her. We broke up 15 years ago, she's a pediatrician and an OB-GYN, and the ONLY reason why they care is because they used to get free services and meds from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 89

You've been Boeberted

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had to retrieve my son from the police station because him and his girlfriend decided a blowjob in the back row of the cinema was a good idea when they have night vision cameras in there and security guards and a very high definition picture printer for evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 86

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 12:00

Today, despite my insistence that I didn't need her, my mom showed up at my door to move in to "help out" after my wife's death. I refused to let her in, so now she's staying at a hotel, and the whole family is angry at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 90

Leaky

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 20:00

Today, I decided I was tired of being fat so I started GLP-1. Today I also learned it can cause intractable diarrhea. Today I shit in an emesis bag in my car in a line at my kids' school, so now I’m fat and a shitty mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 186

A bit much

By Jfc son - 09/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son was getting ready for a first date. I asked him what he was doing, and he revealed he'd saved his money and bought her a GOLD NECKLACE to show his love. I facepalmed so hard I nearly gave myself a concussion, then told him to put that away until their first anniversary or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 112

No smoke, no fire

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 03:00

Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 484

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The Top

Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 852

You deserved it 3 836

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 173

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 250

You deserved it 1 095

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 4 226

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 178

You deserved it 6 817

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 412

You deserved it 3 471