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Hey OP here! First off, thanks for publishing this. It's the first one I've ever submitted. Secondly, yes he was finger painting with it as well as wiping his butt on everything in his room. We're in the middle of potty training so he thought he was helping by cleaning himself off. I also had to clean him and all of his stuffed animals up because he got it EVERYWHERE. Yes, he did get punished in an appropriate way because he's not gonna know it was wrong unless I teach him. And to the comment that I said I need to watch him better, it was while he was napping in his room. Any parent knows you can't watch your kids constantly.

Admit it

By aces10 - 25/01/2009 13:52 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 300

You deserved it 5 612

By FreakedOut - 31/07/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 133

You deserved it 2 836

By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 208

You deserved it 3 975

Get back here

By hahahano - 24/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off, and drove away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 977

You deserved it 3 846

Call the fuzz

By MBG - 05/06/2009 07:43 - Australia

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a café and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee, she grabbed my arm and said, "I think that man is masturbating" and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 918

You deserved it 4 342

All you need is hate

By dev - 28/08/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was at a family reunion, but I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and get it on." My husband turned around. It was my uncle, wearing the same hat as my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 900

You deserved it 40 903

By mommysgirlapparently - 29/10/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 758

You deserved it 8 071

By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 15:20 - United States - Reno

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 293

You deserved it 19 011

SHUT UP

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 15:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 295

You deserved it 2 774

By Ben - 21/08/2009 21:28 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 337

You deserved it 4 732

By rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 860

You deserved it 10 603

By kcountry92 - 18/11/2013 03:19 - United States - Mission

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 796

You deserved it 3 203

kcountry92 tells us more.

kcountry92 15

Monday 18 November 2013 20:47

Hey everyone! I'm the lucky accidental cave explorer and I'm also alright from the fall, just a little bruised. It is a beautiful cave and, as soon as I can find the time, I'm going to go back into it and see if it connects to the 2 other caves on my property. The irony of the situation is that I was part of a Caving Grotto where I live and had just come out of another new cave just a couple hours before this happened. To answer a question I saw, I happen to rock climb as well, so getting out of the cave wasn't as rough as getting into it lol.

By way2go - 23/10/2013 16:32 - United States - Houston

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 349

You deserved it 4 640

way2go tells us more.

way2go 16

Friday 25 October 2013 15:59

Op here... The only reason I saved the bag was for my laptop inside... If it were just my textbooks I wouldn't be in a boot right now. I would have let it fall. Some of these comments made me laugh though, at least something good could come out of this!