Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zzyxer

Search for a member

zzyxer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zzyxer's page activity

Visits<b>BountyBass</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 4:49am

zzyxer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zzyxer's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you deserved it (28614)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56865) - you deserved it (6177)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34593) - you deserved it (48566)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (8123)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46646) - you deserved it (5602)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

#6703555
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you deserved it (2153)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45320) - you deserved it (26120)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

#740929
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48088) - you deserved it (11454)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Thithien1 (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (57515)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96110) - you deserved it (9119)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

#726526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65611) - you deserved it (3674)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49374) - you deserved it (15037)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239935) - you deserved it (31635)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: