zzyxer

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zzyxer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1342
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zzyxer's page activity

Visits<b>BountyBass</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 4:49am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:00pm

zzyxer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zzyxer's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

by highlandgirl10 / 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

by Thithien1 / 04/01/2009 at 2:07am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Transportation

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 5:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous