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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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zzyxer

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zzyxer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zzyxer's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (21505)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (46320) - you deserved it (4337)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912 (602)

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (35041)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (38234) - you deserved it (4057)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out the mature woman I had a one-night-stand with six weeks ago, is six weeks pregnant. I'm 21, she's 52. FML

#8658990 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (27068)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Capt_Hammer (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

#6703555 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (1398)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (13112) - you deserved it (31206)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (19556)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

#740929 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (41161) - you deserved it (8780)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Thithien1 (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (43991)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (76840) - you deserved it (6507)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

#726526 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (55887) - you deserved it (2521)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (11883)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)