Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zyperman43

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

zyperman43

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zyperman43 : I...AM...AWESOME!!!!

zyperman43's page activity

Visits<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:03pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:40pm<b>stefvonb</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:30am<b>AyyFlag230</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:04pm<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:54pm<b>dyazdani0720</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:04pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:28pm<b>_GreenArrow_</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:42pm<b>WolliBolli</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 5:06am<b>girlrome</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:16pm<b>Anaklusmos2013</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:57pm<b>ccameron</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:02am<b>hunts19ketchup</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:17pm<b>Megan_Ashley</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 9:34am<b>reaxion</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:16pm

zyperman43's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of zyperman43's badges

zyperman43's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (7191)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (5060)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (4866)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (4980)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55036) - you deserved it (27646)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41698) - you deserved it (6519)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (6161)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46582) - you deserved it (4620)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52155) - you deserved it (3124)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (46228)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (2232)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (4968)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: