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zwalixx

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zwalixx
  • Town/Country : Bern, Switzerland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 May 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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zwalixx's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

#1652768
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13663) - you deserved it (87281)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

#1440141
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (7300)

On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (258263)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16973) - you deserved it (62997)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87994) - you deserved it (26170)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227099) - you deserved it (29239)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16228) - you deserved it (45899)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16228) - you deserved it (45899)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5645) - you deserved it (16089)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33432) - you deserved it (11130)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version



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