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zwalixx

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zwalixx
  • Town/Country : Bern, Switzerland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 May 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 435
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zwalixx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (1874)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (15739)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (46242)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42961) - you deserved it (3626)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51887) - you deserved it (4744)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51277) - you deserved it (9782)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

#4753654
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5497) - you deserved it (24470)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (4962)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (44831)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6451) - you deserved it (72329)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

#3932476
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58256) - you deserved it (3533)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (57742)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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