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Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47139) - you deserved it (3891)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31708) - you deserved it (3113)
On 09/08/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by easrc (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46476) - you deserved it (7976)
On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5336) - you deserved it (24029)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you deserved it (3894)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11193) - you deserved it (35970)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5885) - you deserved it (59291)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37502) - you deserved it (7059)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53668) - you deserved it (419)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7279) - you deserved it (47213)
On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12044) - you deserved it (71317)
On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (7185)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (228249)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (51101)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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