Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zwalixx

Search for a member

zwalixx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zwalixx's page activity

Visits<b>duckman9</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 2:23pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 10:50pm

zwalixx's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of zwalixx's badges

zwalixx's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

#14708119
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (59064)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10957) - you deserved it (31843)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

#14124192
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24712) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12302) - you deserved it (81447)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (5840)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML

#13615434
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12752) - you deserved it (27211)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (6597)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

#13432971
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (4434)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39956) - you deserved it (3398)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

#12108536
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26108) - you deserved it (9717)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12606) - you deserved it (112903)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (4893)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: