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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (2596)
On 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9253) - you deserved it (63969)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18060) - you deserved it (4572)
On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (23692)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29253) - you deserved it (5184)
On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you deserved it (2479)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam
Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (3352)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (426)
On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (7681)
On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9138) - you deserved it (85395)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3652)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31882) - you deserved it (1516)
On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (14796)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (36644)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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