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zwalixx's FML badges
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zwalixx's favorite FMLs
Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:25am / United States (Connecticut) / Animals
by synyster505 / 12/19/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Pita / 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
by maddiee. / 10/21/2010 at 11:20am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:45am / Brunei Darussalam / Love
by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 10:04am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/04/2010 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
by animelover / 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
by cmore / 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
- Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, someone left a can of scentless bugspray next to the stove, I greased a cake pan with it and…