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zwalixx

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 8:25am) | Search for a member

zwalixx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 May 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 573
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zwalixx's page activity

Visits<b>duckman9</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 2:23pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 10:50pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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zwalixx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (5480)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (44134)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (50865)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42355) - you deserved it (8333)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (3875)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15754) - you deserved it (41586)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44128) - you deserved it (5090)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (2139)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (6045)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (6108)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

#17823625
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (6724)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (11516)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

#17658485
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (3409)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9189) - you deserved it (35818)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (14652)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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