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Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18161) - you deserved it (1426)
On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (5959)
On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19362) - you deserved it (2513)
On 09/12/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by roachblend (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, my computer was hit with something bigger than a virus: A car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (3153)
On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife told me that she's pregnant. I said "Really?" in a disbelieving tone, but leaned forward to kiss her anyway. She responded by puking all over my face. Never doubt what a woman says. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (6845)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:00am - love - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (10338)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13003) - you deserved it (32424)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (57173)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomitting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (5491)
On 09/15/2009 at 9:21am - animals - by Meow (woman) - Singapore
Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44163) - you deserved it (12996)
On 09/14/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by diplomaless (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be pet. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you deserved it (60725)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (2730)
On 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by KarmaGirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (2902)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43233) - you deserved it (14235)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (3227)
On 07/31/2009 at 3:03am - love - by Andrexwife (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
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