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zsorini2014

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zsorini2014
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  • Number of visits : 1738
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zsorini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14984) - you deserved it (55909)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11678) - you deserved it (58653)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53111) - you deserved it (24658)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

#3838782
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34330) - you deserved it (9136)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Alwayshappens2me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (72236)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

#3792630
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10721) - you deserved it (63098)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (7670)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65022) - you deserved it (12782)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

#3730184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44395) - you deserved it (12969)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (56774)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54245) - you deserved it (4057)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (10846)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45848) - you deserved it (2583)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118405) - you deserved it (8672)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60735) - you deserved it (25387)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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