zsorini2014

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zsorini2014

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2697
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zsorini2014's page activity

Visits<b>a_cool_guy</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:14am<b>Serajwl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:59pm<b>nicksatank</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 3:15pm<b>Becca03</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 4:15pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 3:09pm<b>Thespade</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:56am<b>Hoax</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 8:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:36am<b>luxornv</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 4:23am<b>xxaaaxx</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 7:31pm<b>ejvlols</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:53am<b>StudBoiAyeEm</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 2:22pm<b>compuryan</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:53pm<b>Psyche</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>sockergurl916</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 3:09am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 11:56pm<b>shaawty</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 1:05am

zsorini2014's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zsorini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

by unlucky / 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

by Alwayshappens2me / 07/17/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

by failure / 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

by GrippedMyBalls / 07/15/2009 at 9:21am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

by Ouch / 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

by unluckycounsellor / 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

by shroomda / 06/29/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 4:20am / Japan / Transportation

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids