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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33131) - you deserved it (15659)
On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42637) - you deserved it (4742)
On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)
Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (4002)
On 08/21/2009 at 2:48am - intimacy - by axsmith01 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51176) - you deserved it (2551)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (33456)
On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54094) - you deserved it (3688)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (3526)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49949) - you deserved it (4180)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you deserved it (56320)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (3171)
On 08/15/2009 at 6:22am - misc - by pink_cupcakes - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (10540)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41586) - you deserved it (5720)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (9752)
On 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm - health - by Ducati (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52397) - you deserved it (2848)
On 08/09/2009 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56423) - you deserved it (1940)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Monday 17 June 2013
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