zsorini2014

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zsorini2014

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2735
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zsorini2014's page activity

Visits<b>a_cool_guy</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:14am<b>Serajwl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:59pm<b>nicksatank</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 3:15pm<b>Becca03</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 4:15pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 3:09pm<b>Thespade</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:56am<b>Hoax</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 8:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:36am<b>luxornv</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 4:23am<b>xxaaaxx</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 7:31pm<b>ejvlols</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:53am<b>StudBoiAyeEm</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 2:22pm<b>compuryan</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:53pm<b>Psyche</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>sockergurl916</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 3:09am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 11:56pm<b>shaawty</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 1:05am

zsorini2014's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zsorini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

by doomed / 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

by axsmith01 / 08/21/2009 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

by younggrammy / 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML

by crazychick / 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

by pink_cupcakes / 08/15/2009 at 6:22am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

by Ducati / 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 9:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

by whatismydadthinking / 08/06/2009 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous