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zsorini2014

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zsorini2014

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1868
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zsorini2014's page activity

Visits<b>Serajwl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:59pm<b>nicksatank</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 3:15pm<b>Becca03</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 4:15pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 3:09pm<b>Thespade</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:56am<b>Hoax</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 8:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:36am<b>luxornv</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 4:23am<b>xxaaaxx</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 7:31pm<b>ejvlols</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:53am<b>StudBoiAyeEm</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 2:22pm<b>compuryan</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:53pm<b>Psyche</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>sockergurl916</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 3:09am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 11:56pm<b>shaawty</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 1:05am<b>miss_mojo</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 8:00pm

zsorini2014's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zsorini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (13990)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11962) - you deserved it (55307)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

#18721209
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (5750)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm - animals - by britanyann (woman) - United States

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (4215)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (59011)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (7517)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70625) - you deserved it (12054)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12590) - you deserved it (34173)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (4142)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56108) - you deserved it (21701)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9127) - you deserved it (36620)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40545) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62970) - you deserved it (15999)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)



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