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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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zrjones

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zrjones
  • Town/Country : sykesville, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 November 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 7247
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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zrjones's favorite FMLs

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (28343) - you deserved it (4411)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

#5858229 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (3253)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

#5706276 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

#5695966 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (11536) - you deserved it (24252)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

#5688481 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (9375) - you deserved it (26277)

On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (6940)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (2200)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (14722) - you deserved it (33280)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (1110)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (2260)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

#5273221 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (43153) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML

#5247807 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (31930) - you deserved it (4384)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by alphabetman (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)