About zotler : I'm Zoe.
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zotler's favorite FMLs
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my dad told me to get on the bus alone while he takes a shower. The bus shows up around 9:11… Today I threw a dinner party for some old friends, and I woke up at 8:00 am to start cooking. After… Today, my house has an infestation of beetles. I got up during the night, so put on my slippers to…