zoolander951

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zoolander951

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13219
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zoolander951 : I actually don't play the guitar, but the piano. And I also can't draw. Thus the weemee

zoolander951's page activity

Visits<b>courseofaction</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:35am<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 8:04pm<b>w0lfc0ck</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 11:23am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:02pm<b>plearbear</b> - the 06/20/2010 at 3:54pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 11:23am<b>aabballdude</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 11:54pm<b>lexyr</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 1:11am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/06/2009 at 8:34pm<b>hazel_rain</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 12:51am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 11:39pm<b>katelyns</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 9:00am<b>blargity</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 10:53pm<b>Plumppotato</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 2:27am<b>mish01</b> - the 07/06/2009 at 6:55am<b>samantha561</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:08pm<b>cwhitley21</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 8:23pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 11:43am

zoolander951's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zoolander951's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

by Intheway / 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

by TBaggins00 / 06/21/2009 at 3:34am / United States (Illilois) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

by whatthehell / 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

by vinniesuckmadack / 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

by Idiocracy / 04/24/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML

by xoothc08 / 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

by darn it. / 02/20/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love