I actually don't play the guitar, but the piano. And I also can't draw. Thus the weemee
Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you totally deserved it (3307)
On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12403) - you totally deserved it (48033)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7212) - you totally deserved it (35172)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you totally deserved it (16726)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9331) - you totally deserved it (31320)
On 06/18/2009 at 6:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you totally deserved it (1685)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45450) - you totally deserved it (1564)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then proceeded to take a long shower, clean up my room, get dressed, and eat breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30377) - you totally deserved it (23578)
On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43555) - you totally deserved it (1408)
On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went shopping at Macy's for swimsuits with my mom. I told my mom that I hated all the suits there, and that I wanted to get them at Dick's Sporting Goods. My mother then said, in a loud voice, "STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH DICKS!" Half the store stared at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60836) - you totally deserved it (6712)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by jpr11011 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (348024) - you totally deserved it (14430)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you totally deserved it (1000)
On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by xoothc08 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you totally deserved it (2208)
On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)
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