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zomg123

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zomg123

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  • Number of visits : 1298
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zomg123's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:59pm<b>the_boss</b> - the 11/17/2009 at 9:42pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 11/15/2009 at 5:04am<b>bertiebass1</b> - the 11/08/2009 at 9:00pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 11/08/2009 at 4:46pm<b>JustSoHigh</b> - the 11/06/2009 at 12:14am

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zomg123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (24877)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10424) - you deserved it (46549)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (94816)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

#1815283
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78679) - you deserved it (3678)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76816) - you deserved it (23409)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (64506)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98901) - you deserved it (22713)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

#1667670
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (30639)

On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124023) - you deserved it (6685)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13198) - you deserved it (65300)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60872) - you deserved it (6890)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60044) - you deserved it (4543)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my boyfriend were telling eachother secrets and I told him i've shaved my upper lip. He said "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML

#839552
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48903) - you deserved it (25758)

On 04/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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