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zombiepenguin21

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zombiepenguin21

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 119
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zombiepenguin21's page activity

Visits<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 12:49pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 2:27am<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:52pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 12:49am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 11:17pm<b>mandacleary</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 8:05pm<b>djayy9011</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 1:58pm<b>hotshot0185</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 4:46am<b>Jake71197</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:14pm

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zombiepenguin21's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (42797)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55037) - you deserved it (64169)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (4029)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45217) - you deserved it (13405)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (49722)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75031) - you deserved it (9084)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41317) - you deserved it (16019)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51273) - you deserved it (20969)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55170) - you deserved it (7873)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36748) - you deserved it (5030)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (111813)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67702) - you deserved it (4779)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (5897)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (36561)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (15945)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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