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zolltf

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zolltf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1294
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zolltf's page activity

Visits<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:28pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:33am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:30am<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>saramarie_g</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:43pm<b>xLIGHTS</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:03pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:18pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 4:23am<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:47pm<b>valerie101</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:57pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:22am<b>CosplayingAnime</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Imladris</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:58pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:49pm<b>kingofks</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:43pm<b>ViennaJessica</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:40pm<b>Heatherx1243</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:00am

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zolltf's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63182) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (140139)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75961) - you deserved it (12251)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76709) - you deserved it (23375)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (261400) - you deserved it (17228)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (92786)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80395) - you deserved it (3195)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98267) - you deserved it (10301)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212097) - you deserved it (27338)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53777) - you deserved it (311500)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64919) - you deserved it (3721)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39053) - you deserved it (7862)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)



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