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zolltf
  • Town/Country : Pincourt, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1198
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zolltf's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (3421)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7116) - you deserved it (29942)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9995) - you deserved it (25193)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (4910)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (9514)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (6440)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (4418)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (40855)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

#3237223
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49965) - you deserved it (9720)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:22am - love - by shouldhaveknown (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45340) - you deserved it (4475)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

#2940204
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55856) - you deserved it (5330)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113781) - you deserved it (71767)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79313) - you deserved it (19068)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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