zoe1o1

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zoe1o1

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zoe1o1's page activity

Visits<b>boredSOLDIER2</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 7:10am

zoe1o1's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

zoe1o1's favorite FMLs

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

by lynn / 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 6:49am / Egypt / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

by Kirby / 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2011 at 12:38am / Work

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

by Alex / 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Love

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

by Username / 05/25/2010 at 8:32am / Health

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

by doggybag / 09/24/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML

by APRRECIATION / 05/24/2009 at 2:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

by anbrown6 / 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

by Bliss / 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love