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zoe1o1's FML badges
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zoe1o1's favorite FMLs
by lynn / 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 6:49am / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
by Kirby / 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Alex / 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Love
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
by doggybag / 09/24/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML
by APRRECIATION / 05/24/2009 at 2:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML
by anbrown6 / 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
by Bliss / 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love
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