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zobo1014

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zobo1014

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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12885) - you deserved it (45296)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (2650)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30501) - you deserved it (3964)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

#19207199
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (4367)

On 03/03/2012 at 2:33am - money - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (52903) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (1890)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (45110)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

#19186705
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (2141)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (6323)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

#19073057
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (5998)

On 02/14/2012 at 10:32am - love - by crazytown62 - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6609) - you deserved it (19278)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11795) - you deserved it (31270)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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