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Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15643) - you deserved it (5021)
On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (12420)
On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10646) - you deserved it (23835)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16235) - you deserved it (2431)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm - work - by lovefortoday (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6142) - you deserved it (19074)
On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (5662)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (2061)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4177) - you deserved it (57325)
On 03/09/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by KrazyKill - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16475) - you deserved it (1447)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm - work - by Me - United States
Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (1386)
On 03/07/2012 at 11:25am - misc - by whatawaste - United States (Indiana)
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (38486)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (2163)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (3322)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (181) - you deserved it (1406)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6206) - you deserved it (38075) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 17 June 2013
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