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zobo1014

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zobo1014
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  • Number of visits : 1363
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

#19249141
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21754) - you deserved it (5727)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (2618)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

#19245610
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4304) - you deserved it (58576)

On 03/09/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by KrazyKill - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

#19233138
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (1910)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm - work - by Me - United States

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10639) - you deserved it (40818)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (2187)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

#19207199
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (711) - you deserved it (1637)

On 03/03/2012 at 2:33am - money - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7385) - you deserved it (49203) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (1706)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15135) - you deserved it (40677)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

#19186705
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (1962)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (5930)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States



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