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zobo1014

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zobo1014

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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (2335)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57193) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (3219)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

#19578116
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (16985)

On 05/05/2012 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (2080)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

#19561558
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (2412)

On 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm - animals - by Monkeyless (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18197) - you deserved it (4832)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (3161)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (2611)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (1789)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (3491)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44060) - you deserved it (3060)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

#19420745
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12710) - you deserved it (18958)

On 04/06/2012 at 11:41pm - love - by Amber C - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

#19414574
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (4285)

On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States



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