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Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (2061)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7219) - you deserved it (18476)
On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (2935)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (1008)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (25552)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (1902)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:46am - work - by Anonymous -
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (1114)
On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5408) - you deserved it (15548)
On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -
Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (3495)
On 06/27/2012 at 6:32am - work - by Wubba87 (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (2631)
On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16230) - you deserved it (2485)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16230) - you deserved it (2485)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12470) - you deserved it (6046)
On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (32386)
On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (10617)
On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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