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zobo1014

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zobo1014

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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (3556)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (3556)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (8867)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

#19791173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7718) - you deserved it (47999)

On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (15998)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

#19753882
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5420) - you deserved it (36591)

On 06/08/2012 at 4:09am - misc - by runner2731 - United States (Ohio)

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (3249)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

#19732110
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (2336)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:02am - misc - by unacceptable (woman) - Australia

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (1783)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (4081)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (2644)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (2517)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (3213)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (3459)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

#19578116
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (18056)

On 05/05/2012 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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