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zobo1014

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zobo1014

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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (1671)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7486) - you deserved it (23975)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (3854)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (3490)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (3490)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (8412)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

#19791173
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6841) - you deserved it (45176)

On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (15027)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

#19753882
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (35987)

On 06/08/2012 at 4:09am - misc - by runner2731 - United States (Ohio)

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (3019)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

#19732110
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (2299)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:02am - misc - by unacceptable (woman) - Australia

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1625)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (4055)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21214) - you deserved it (2543)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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