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zobo1014

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zobo1014

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  • Number of visits : 3166
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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

#19997087
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (2130)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

#19989315
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25633) - you deserved it (2874)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (7963)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (12809)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (29085)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33605) - you deserved it (4219)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (1654)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (36741)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

#19894898
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/05/2012 at 11:46am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (1801)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8068) - you deserved it (25446)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (3877)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)



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