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Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (1774)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20143) - you deserved it (5799)
On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (15797)
On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (1375)
On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18893) - you deserved it (1448)
On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15799) - you deserved it (1744)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6268) - you deserved it (19537)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (2150)
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16686) - you deserved it (3462)
On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14425) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4790) - you deserved it (14312)
On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (3290)
On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (2362)
On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (1069)
On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14885) - you deserved it (3472)
On 08/27/2012 at 9:33am - work - by Joe - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 20 May 2013
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