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Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (14350)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (3552)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was in a college band rehearsal, and I get a call saying "your car was just hit by a tree!" I said "yeah, right", and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walks in and tells me that my car is totaled. I then went and stood in the rain watching a tree get cut off my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (4100)
On 09/22/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9874) - you deserved it (25195)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6072) - you deserved it (36533)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15304) - you deserved it (27780)
On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56261) - you deserved it (26167)
On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14324) - you deserved it (38429)
On 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (11145)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42050) - you deserved it (9491)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44514) - you deserved it (6560)
On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (89173)
On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (89173)
On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61487) - you deserved it (3607)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63926) - you deserved it (3111)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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