About zobara : There's nothing to say about me.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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zobara's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/29/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
by wellfuckyoutoo / 11/24/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
by angelisa / 11/21/2015 at 9:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 3:13pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went to a salon to have my eyebrows waxed. During the application the woman sneezed. The wax is not water based, so no matter what they tried, it would not come out of my eyebrows. I now have to decide whether leave the noticeable brown wax in my eyebrows or wax them all off and draw them in. FML
by lat187 / 11/11/2015 at 8:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/11/2015 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by desigirl / 11/09/2015 at 8:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 12:28am / United States (Delaware) / Love
Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML
by Hipnog / 11/07/2015 at 9:33am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML
by jellenwood / 11/07/2015 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, I stepped a bit closer to a couple that stood in front of a display. The girl then shot me a nasty look, grabbed her boyfriend and started pointedly making out with him. I was just trying to buy some butter. But thanks for reminding me how lonely I am. FML
by It wasnt even that close / 10/31/2015 at 9:23am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love