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Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (2406)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (6198)
On 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm - love - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (16287)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11578) - you deserved it (21411)
On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (21161)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (2707)
On 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm - love - by 713 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML
I agree, your life sucks (42665) - you deserved it (3118)
On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13959) - you deserved it (18592)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35029) - you deserved it (2573)
On 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm - love - by schwange (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants and while chasing after her yells "baby she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (57191) - you deserved it (5122)
On 04/07/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6775) - you deserved it (10244)
On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (1703)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (6385)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (3458)
On 01/14/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28828) - you deserved it (2425)
On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)
Monday 17 June 2013
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