About zobara : There's nothing to say about me.
zobara's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
zobara's favorite FMLs
by meowymomma / 06/25/2016 at 3:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by dancingqueef / 06/21/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
by hlewrn / 06/21/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was sitting in a café when I dropped my phone. After ages searching the floor for it, I realised it had dropped into the lady behind me's bag. She looked terrifying, so I thought I'd wait until she went to the bathroom. She never did, and I ended watching her walk out, with my phone. FML
by phoneless / 06/19/2016 at 5:00pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
by sad / 06/17/2016 at 6:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML
by bigbagofnope / 06/17/2016 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom / Love
by jack / 06/15/2016 at 5:56am / France (Corse) / Love
Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML
Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML
by mind your own business / 06/13/2016 at 6:31pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
by Lonely, I am so lonely / 06/12/2016 at 9:41am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
by ForSeriousReally / 06/11/2016 at 1:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health
by djurmel89 / 06/07/2016 at 12:48pm / Germany / Health
Today, at my new fast food job, I was in charge of filtering the grease out of the fryers. I accidentally turned the wrong lever and flooded the kitchen with hot oil. It took over 3 hours to clean up, and my manager is furious. FML
by Punkpoptart1119 / 06/06/2016 at 7:57pm / Work