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zobara

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zobara
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1008
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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zobara's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57111) - you deserved it (27248)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (16425)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39715) - you deserved it (5417)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45196) - you deserved it (10997)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

#21094928
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (4757)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (8646)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39412) - you deserved it (5018)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (4706)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (2576)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (4578)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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