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Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (5056)
On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (13890)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm - work - by Brian B - United States
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (2543)
On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (7105)
On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (2209)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71619) - you deserved it (9139)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23044) - you deserved it (8563)
On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (2027)
On 09/12/2011 at 4:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (2704)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (2116)
On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (2561)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada
Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22167) - you deserved it (1953)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (18660)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (27015)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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