Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zniltiaC

Offline (the 02/24/2015 at 12:24pm) | Search for a member

zniltiaC

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4439
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zniltiaC : I don't know how to 'about you'.

zniltiaC's page activity

Visits<b>michaelf461</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:29am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:47pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:43pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:25pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:23am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:04am<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:48am<b>wilsontws</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:25pm<b>savygirl367</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:09pm<b>robear86</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 4:59am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Grand_Cookie</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:40pm<b>judkins_1808</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:43pm<b>gooddealjoe</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 11:51pm<b>comadivine</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 5:11pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 9:51am<b>Angelastic</b> - the 08/01/2011 at 2:08pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 08/01/2011 at 6:40am

zniltiaC's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of zniltiaC's badges

zniltiaC's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (13632)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38590) - you deserved it (3679)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9525) - you deserved it (46052)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11217) - you deserved it (38209)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (34299)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (3798)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

#7420150
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8008) - you deserved it (39801)

On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34697) - you deserved it (6058)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8489) - you deserved it (25159)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (4508)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

#6494612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30406) - you deserved it (4527)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59957) - you deserved it (6404)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (7300)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30753) - you deserved it (3136)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: