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Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (12837)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (4845)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (2622)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by lucki (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (6625)
On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)
Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (1795)
On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (2774)
On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (33859)
On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5794) - you deserved it (28713)
On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (4711)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6271) - you deserved it (17395)
On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34165) - you deserved it (3837)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (3396)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (5837)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (5623)
On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (2384)
On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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