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Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (2795)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -
Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (2242)
On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (5081)
On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -
Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3336)
On 01/31/2011 at 6:11pm - misc - by ad4 - United States (California)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (3389)
On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (6158)
On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (3218)
On 01/31/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by mentallyscarred - United States (California)
Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (31113)
On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (3448) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (7461)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (3427)
On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -
Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (3854)
On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (2973)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26274) - you deserved it (2720)
On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (24119)
On 11/19/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by kay_jay1819 (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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