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Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (10781)
On 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (8162)
On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -
Today, I discovered that my Facebook profile picture, of me between my boyfriend and a friend, is actually me between my boyfriend and the girl he has been cheating on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43346) - you deserved it (3430)
On 03/06/2011 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by ocean555 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50448) - you deserved it (2897)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9220) - you deserved it (24172)
On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7470) - you deserved it (37426)
On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5003) - you deserved it (53796)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (15255)
On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (10398)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11898) - you deserved it (16648)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37846) - you deserved it (3523)
On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (8778)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML
I agree, your life sucks (8453) - you deserved it (32646)
On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (4272)
On 02/11/2011 at 4:02am - animals - by Jen -
Today, I got an email from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (1871)
On 02/10/2011 at 5:48pm - misc - by JaneVI (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 17 June 2013
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